Tweet Dreams…
And here we are at episode 4, “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things,” written by Bryan Cogman, and directed by Brian Kirk. As per the usual, I (@Axechucker) followed the #GameOfThrones hashtag (with some more help from the rambunctious Rabbit), and I think I successfully kept most future episode spoilers out of this post. As usual, there is a wee (more than wee) bit of profanity. Read wisely.
Oddly (or because I am awesome and full of awesome) this episode corresponds in many ways to my own script outline in Scripting Episode 4. Except, you know, I failed to write in a Viserys bathtub scene. (Hey, how was I supposed to know dragons made Doreah froggy?) So this round goes to Cogman!
And it should. He’s a professional.
On with the show! But first, a message from our sponsor:
@BryanCogman: My episode #GameOfThrones, entitled #CripplesBastards and Broken Things airs tonight at 9 on HBO! Please watch!
Thanks, Bryan! We did!
I like to start things off by sneaking a peek into the various mindsets of some of our Game of Thrones fans, just before the show begins.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: five minutes till #GameOfThrones 4th Episode #CripplesBastards, you know what that means, right? CAPSLOCK IS ON! #excitementcantbecontained
#TeamPaco
@stephlmanson: I’ve seen some whacked out spellings of #GameOfThrones names: Callisi, Sanza, Tyria, Robert Barageron, Danerus…pretty entertaining though
@DeannaThomas: Are you sitting comfortably with your lemon cakes? it’s about to begin.
@SSRDoug: Somebody please say “winter is coming” with a rich northern accent. Daddy needs a double shot.
@1thinchip: Woman asked me today: Are you a Walker? Unfortuately, she meant, is that your last name. #GameofThrones
@johnanthony882: I predicting shit goes down in #gameofthrones
Bold words from a bold man.
@TheMichaelMoran: At what point does Tony Stark turn up? Now HE’s got some freakin’ armour
@bbdodd: No better way to end a beautiful Mother’s Day then…medieval nipples + doin it on wolf pelts
@mambalovesdaisy: Watching #GameOfThrones whilst doing my sisters hair! Waiting to see @Aimee_P_R! :)
A Myrcella fan! I’ll just bet they can’t wait for A Feast For Crows to be filmed.
Of course some people need a more… ah… insistent environment to be able to watch:
@MissLouPops: tom is now making me watch #gameofthrones. hate rubbish like this :(
Hopefully Tom did not tie her to a chair. That’s still illegal in most places.
@CKscullycat: #GameofThrones is definitely quality work. The art design alone is worth watching for.
Agreed! I can’t say enough about the design.
@silkskinned: Hey. Hey @NayanRoo. #ifyoumarryme I’ll give you seven kingdoms and crown you queen of love and beauty.
Would be sort of awesome if that were a real proposal. “When did he propose?” “Oh, he tweeted it to me while watching Game of Thrones.”
@JOZZYmusic: If #Hodor is convincing tonight, I will be happy. It would be so easy to make it cheesy and unbelievable.
@nyxbabygirl: to keep studying for my final or watch @GameofThrones..that’s a hard one.. NOT!
@MattFini: Winter is coming, motherfuckers!
@KingstonPete: #GameOfThrones is on. Shhhhhhhh!
Pete’s right. Shhhh!
And we begin…
@SB_Co: I thought Bran couldn’t walk? Or did I make that up? #GameofThrones
@faboamanto: The ravens have more screen time than the direwolves?
@BearsFan278: My daughter just came running out, wondering what the noise was. She said the 3-eyed bird is LOUD!
@pirateykris: The three-eyed crow! So glad they kept that in, simultaneously creepy and awesome.
@ChangeAg3nt: Bran’s nanny is the creepiest old lady ever! She’s got stories that would give serial killers nightmares
Still miss Margaret John. Old Nan is creepier than Littlefinger.
Twitter then twitsploded. It was a little like last week when Syrio was first glimpsed…
@LoveAnthem: HODOR
@adkarabinus: Hodor is great. I mean, HODOR!!
@amarettosaurus: Hodor is perfect.
@melisser3: HODOR! Hodor hodor. Hodor. #Hodor
@philospud: HODOR!
@Metalfan757: HODOR!!!!
@faboamanto: Hodor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@silkskinned: HODOR HODOR HODOR HODOR #hodor
@SchoolMarm80: I <3 Hodor@amarettosaurus: My timeline at this point is just a ton of people saying hodor! I love it.
@txvoodoo: Hodor really is! They could’ve gone all Lurch-like. This is better.
@ipopic: Am I the only one who imagined Hodor a lot younger then they portrayed him in #gameofthrones ?
@willchinda: Hodor.
I love how Kristian has Hodor sort of doing a two-time shuffle wherever he goes. Like Hodor is obviously used to being told to go places—and to hurry to where he’s told! (And to probably do it quietly.) Even though he’s really not getting there very fast at all. He just looks like he is! I shall from now on refer to that hurried-looking slow shuffle as a “Hodor pace.”
And then Theon enters the room. How many of you noticed Summer growled at him?
@tribalmeg: Theon Greyjoy, always a douchebag.
@amarettosaurus: Why so flawless and perfectly sullen Theon?
Why indeed?
Tyrion arrives at Winterfell with Yoren and receives the thousand-yard stare from Robb…
@life_in_clomo: Oh Robb Stark, you so fine
@Paco_ICEandFIRE Paco: OMG GREYWIND!! WE FINALLY GET TO SEE ANOTHER WOLF
@MamasGOTcookies: Tyrion couldnt have been casted any better!!! @PeterDinklage, you are amazing! Too bad Ur married :(
@br_wallace: Peter Dinklage’s portrayal as Tryion Lannister in Game of Thrones is the best performance on TV.
@bibliotech: Tyrion >>>> everyone in the world. He’s got that perfect line between caring concern and sarcastic not-giving-a-fuckness.
@ericbuscher: I love Tyrian. He will be a dick to anyone. Even a six year old
It’s part of his charm.
Has anyone noticed that Tyrion, on occasion, takes on some distinctly Jaime-like expressions? They literally have the exact same facial reactions to certain things. As though Peter Dinklage were watching Nicolaj Coster-Waldau’s way of speaking, the way he smirks, tilts his head when he raises an eyebrow… It’s fascinating. I suppose it could be Coster-Waldau miming Dinklage as well, but this feels more like little brother watching big brother. They both do that one look, the “You must be jesting” look: tight-pressed lips, head turned slightly to the side with the sidelong stare remaining fixed on the subject. Or am I crazy?
Meanwhile, at the Wall… Samwell Tarly of Horn Hill is introduced!
@EmmaRobertson92: SAM! :D
@wfkkid3: wow really big guy :(
@stealthyslyth: YAY Sam!!!
@LadyNorthman: SAMWELL!!!
@ReallyAlly: I just want to hug Sam… =(
@DMGilchrist: He just beating on this fat guy. These guys have no mercy.
@MsJessicaB: LEAVE SAMWELL ALONE!!!
Is it just me or did you all picture the ‘Leave Britney Alone’ guy as well?
@Paco_ICEandFIRE Paco: I FEEL BAD FOR LAUGHIMG AT SAM. OH THE GIFS THIS SCENE IS GOING TO MAKE
@NoBadWords: Samwell Tarly is perfect! Great casting job.
@Stefichan Stefi: Poor Ser Piggy! ;_;
@tribalmeg: That is not at ALL how I picture Sam Tarly.
@tribalmeg: Okay, now he seems like Sam XD
@Dinkologist: Aww, the bastard will have his very own Samwise.
@JoeMoore42: Jon Snow sure is protective of his new boyfriend.
@vcav vanessa: aw the casting of fatboy sam is perfect. Not sold on theon though
Blaspheme. Alfie Allen is spot-on. But yes, John Bradley is awesomeness in the making! Those puppy-dog eyes.
Kit gets his usual love:
@cheesybones: Think Jon Snow broke his record for asskickery
@tara_atrandom: OK, Jon Snow’s weary, mildly guilty look just there was sort of brilliant. I officially love him.
@onlytheholly: Also, Jon has pretty, pretty hair.
@EwaSR: I am afraid that if I look up the Jon Snow actor I’ll find out he’s far too young to be attracted to
@dejavu145: I like Kit Harington in #GameofThrones but there’s no way he’s passing for a 14yr old -_-
So he’s old enough to know but not old enough to—wait, that discussion didn’t come up yet.
@cookie_bean These Night’s Watchmen are a seriously homely bunch… bring on the horde!
Everyone’s a critic. Fine. Bring on the Horde!
@louis0nfire: I love the color palette changes in #GameofThrones.
@00Sull: Them horsey folk in #GameOfThrones are 1960s era Klingons.
@CJayneGo: Ummm, Jason Momoa can Khal me anytime. Deelish… #HappyMothersDaytome #ohwaitimmarried
Momoa is married too. Maybe y’all can work something out. (The Khal gets love even when his screen-time is less than a direwolf.)
Viserys begins whining again…
@OliviaRoy: shut up Viserys, you’re worse than Sansa
@PaulfConvery: Didn’t they make him walk the whole way?
That’s a good question! Are we going to miss out on Sorefoot King?
Iain Glenn continues to impress. Though sometimes when he’s either irritated or concentrating really hard he looks like he graduated from the Bryan Cranston School of Lower Jaw Jutting.
@Ziporakat: “You sold slaves, why?” “I had no money and an expensive wife.” “Where is she now?” “In another place with another man.” #Burn
I sort of wonder if we’ll ever see his wife.
@Nimbusyosh: Honestly, I only watch #gameofthrones for the sex scenes. It’s kinda boreing so far :/
Wait for iiiit….
Twitter again perked up at the Viserys / Doreah bathtub scene:
@kellynkohler: Turned on #gameofthrones and the first thing that pops up are people having sex…
Guess you’ll tune in on time next week, won’t you. There’s really no excuse for tardiness.
@_kimguin: Weirdest. Foreplay. Ever.
@CateDubMajor: You are the last dragon. You possess the power of the gloooooowwwww.
@mrMineCrafter: “The brave men didn’t kill dragons. The brave men rode them.”
@jacobite11: They forgot to dye Viserys armpits…
@Kajivar: The bathtub is the perfect place for exposition.
@Mystery_Donut: Theyre shoehorning in quite a bit of backstory tonight
@cdeminski: So, uh… a lot of back story coming thru as dialogue narration here on #GameofThrones. And that’s lame. No idea what they’re talking about
@silkskinned: Okay, I understand that backstory is necessary, but if we have to have naked backstory can it be Dany or… not Viserys?
@hutch_jessica: I guess dragons are going to be important because they keep talking about them.
@allflicker: I’d better see some goddamn dragons by season’s end
@maitri: Is there a Targaryen random dragon name generator or something?
@Haunt1013: The hell?! Did he just say there was a dragon named Vermithrax?!?
Yes he did! Ode to Dragonslayer, one of George R.R. Martin’s favorite movies, or so I’m told.
That flick scared the living bajonkers out of 9-year old me.
@regfan21: Oh Vicerys I want to hate you and your douchiness but …..
@Ms_Rena: Viserys is a spineless weakling and I have no doubt he will be dead soon
@HolliXD: Good amount of shirt less wet harry lloyd in #gameofthrones! ::
@_jilly: Viserys is disarmingly charming and beautiful in that tub.
@ohnopatrick: Gotta love a girl what gets hot over dragons.
@devi0us: If only more girls got hot over dragon talk, the world would be more interesting
And I would have had dates in high school.
@CausOHP: #gameofthrones is legit. Bathtub chick is smokin hot.
@Lucid_Dragon: “Really, why a Dragon?” ” They can fly.” and I forget the rest.
@Spikey_Mikey_23: Mmmm roxanne mckee naked #gameofthrones shame she is riding that albino streak of piss! Did get to see her boobs though! Schwing!!
@Fearravine: She just woke the dragon
@Edwin_Mitchell: Oh she’s riding a dragon all right.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: HE GOT DRAGON SEMEN TOO, WOMAN!
@Lastbitepodcast: Wow… This is the first time that Viserys doesn’t seem like a total jerk. Wait… Spoke too soon
@Lucid_Dragon: LOL! WHAT did I BUY you for! WOW!
And now, a message for Sansa:
@onlytheholly: EVERYONE HATES YOU, SANSA.
Uh, that’s not the one. Where is it…?
@queenofcrows: Finally, I’ve been waiting for this Sansa scene! So much love for this girl.
There we go. #TeamSansa
And now back to the usual…
@silkskinned: Sansa, take a xanax and get over yourself.
@Ziporakat: “I don’t want to speak to my father, ever.” YOU are the one who doomed your Dire Wolf to die you stupid little bitch!!!
@bibliotech: Ah, Sansa. Such a complicated girl. I both dislike you and want to see more of your journey. It’s so conflicting.
@xende_ Jordi: Ojo con Sophie Turner, que parece una mosquita muerte en #GameOfThrones pero en realidad… NO
I have no idea what that last guy said. Mosquito death? I hope it’s complimentary.
On to another meeting of the small council, where “Bowlegged whores” were being discussed…
@Dinkologist: This show has such a huge cast. I wish they wore nametags.
@silkskinned: Wait–wait, what, I thought the maester’s chain was way smaller than that. That is one badass chain.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: RENLY!! MY LOVE!!!!! ILL GIVE U SOMETHING TO PUT IN UR MOUTH!! #praywithme
@silkskinned: Is it just me, or is the pointer finger on Ned’s Hand badge reeeeeeeeeally long? For poking or something?
@s_cosgrove: What do I have to do to get Sean Bean naked on this friggin’ show???
@_jilly: Eunuchs are apparently the modern day version of the Butler..
@NoBadWords: I thought the spider would have been flabbier and more feminine.
If he were any more feminine he’d be doing freaking Disney Princess pirouettes.
Ned gets Pycelle alone…
@SuperPistolSari: The seed is strong. Iron sperm?
@queenofcrows: “The seed is strong.” And spread all the hell over Westeros.
@hairpik: I love the production design in maester pycelles rooms.
@cdeminski: Ned, “Poison is a woman’s weapon.” Oh Ned, you flatterer.
@bibliotech: I love how everyone thinks poison is a woman’s weapon. If I were a dude, I’d poison everybody. #killallthethings #allofthem
@Ziporakat: “It’s said poison is a woman’s weapon.” Sounds about right, we’re sneaky and evil like that.
@TheMichaelMoran: “They say poison is Heston Blumenthal’s weapon…”
Source?
Ned encounters Arya trying to stand on one toe. Not one foot—one toe.
@dj_jgrilla: Yoo Arya is a TRIP on #GameOfThrones. Good show indeed!!
@cdeminski: Awww, it’s so cute, Ned’s little girl wants to be the Karate Kid.
@ReallyAlly: Arya = HBIC
@Serrae: Is Maisie Williams (Arya on #GameofThrones) the third in some cloning project also involving Mila Kunis and Sarah Hyland?
Except unlike Kunis and Hyland, Williams is a young girl. Bizarre…
@les111280: Love the scene of Arya balancing on her toe for her “dancing” lessons. Love any scene with Arya, she was perfectly cast.
@Mandy_Mouse She’s like a little Xena.
No comment! I was roundly chastened last time I compared her to an fictional alleged lesbian character.
Though really, the Arya/Gendry shippers are having almost as tough a time as the San/San bunch. More on that later.
@hyperbolation: Arya is so freaking awesome! Meanwhile Sansa is a grasping selfish little bitch and I hope she’s killed or sold into slavery.
@bibliotech: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Arya Stark. #teamarya #gameofthrones #aryastarkfacts
@bibliotech: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Arya Stark has allowed to live. #gameofthrones #teamary
@Lesley_Rich: I’m loving the Ned & Arya chemistry.
ArleighTSL: “No…that’s not me.” Arya Stark
Indeed it’s not.
So Sam is assigned to watch duty with Jon on the Wall, and we get to hear about how he came to be here…
@yomariposa: Man. Wonderful parenting, these people practice. #GameOfThrones
@bibliotech: Am liking the casting for Samwell. I was really worried they mmight screw him (and Tyrion) up. So glad they didn’t.
@ReallyAlly: Lord Tarly is a DOUCHE
@Ziporakat: “I’m not going to get any better you know.” “Well…you can’t get any worse.” Aaaaand now they’re friends forever, lol.
@wfkkid3: #gameofthrones the bastard has curly hair like Frodo and the big guy’s name is Sam. WOW XD
@MissSadieJones: Sam needs a Frodo
@SSRDoug: The Bastard, Jon Snow, is he dick or not. I think not.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: NOT LAUGHING NEMORE :-( #ohsam
@TheMichaelMoran: So how will the chubby nerd redeem himself? Will he organise a preview screening of Green Lantern or something?
@paul_beauchamp: Loving the new chubby guy in #gameofthrones. No doubt he’ll save the day.
They don’t call him Sam the Slayer for nothin’. Whoops, did I spoil that?
Littlefinger gives Ned som friendly advice…
@marviegurl: I’m torn b/c the guy they have playing Littlefinger is cute! He shouldn’t be, I hate him!!
@Paco_ICEandFIRE Paco: LITTLEFINGER = PIMPWALK
@freyagirl32: But delicious! RT @wispa9: LOL, Littlefinger is a prick. :L
Ned and Jory seek out the master blacksmith Tobho Mott…
@sovietkitsch_: OH SHIT THE KING HAS A BASTARD SON.
@DuckyMacDuck: What’s the bastard count in this week’s #GameofThrones?
@thekayls: who plays king roberts bastard son? .. he looks super familiar.
@pigeonspotting: Omg it’s Chris from the original Skins!
@csoy13: During last night’s #GameOfThrones, I expected Joe Dempsie to pop a pill & say to Ned Stark, “Fuck IT!” #Skins
@silkskinned: Wow. Today’s episode is just full of awesome introductHOLY CRAP GENDRY THAT’S AN IMPRESSIVE HELM
@queenofcrows: Gendry, you’re older and hotter than I’d imagined. I approve.
@terpkristi: Hmm I always envisioned Gendry much younger–closer to Arya’s age.
I would say that ship’s left the port.
A new scene between Jaime Lannister and Jory Cassel. Some great nuance here.
@silkskinned: “Listen. Do you hear that? That is the sound of a thousand terrible whores coming this way.”
@ReallyAlly: Jaime, you are an asshole. Get in my bed.
@bibliotech: Jaime Lannister is the very definition of a Magnificent Bastard.
@ABtheLEO: Hol’ up.. So dude is fuckin his own sister?!
A little late to the party, son.
@jacobite11: Bad mistake, Jory. Don’t leave it!!
@Radstronomical: Defintely going to use “I’ll bet you smell of blackberry jam” as a pick up line from know on.
@JoeMoore42: Christ, King Robert is better than Henry VIII
If by “better” you mean “worser.”
Jaime and Jory gave us our requisite Greyjoy exposition for the day. I mean, after the Greyjoy exposition we got earlier from Tyrion and Theon.
@scazzasofija: Nice Greyjoy history Love the dense information Trusting the audience finally
@wellslawoffice: Will we remember all the #Greyjoy history from tonight by next season?
@ArleighTSL: Love how each new episode reveals a new backstory to supporting characters. This time it’s Theon Greyjoy
It’s been practically a… Greyjoyful day! Ready for season two!
Jon talks with the boys over a rather unappetizing-looking breakfast!
@silkskinned: Jon Snow is the new face of “It Gets Better”.
@CateDubMajor: Is it just me or does Jon Snow have a jheri curl?
@DMGilchrist: How you gonna talk about slicing that fat dude into bacon.
He’s Rast, brah. He just bein’ real. Dude says what he feels like saying. And no one’s gonna—
@SSRDoug: Blanket party #gameofthrones style. No Cowboy, Joker or Snowball though.
@Mystery_Donut: Straight up Full Metal Jacket right there
@causeforchaos: OMG GHOST!!! FINALLY!
@ReallyAlly: GHOST FOR THE WIN
@mherr1979: GHOST!!!!!!!!
@lucchaser: LMAO he’s all shook up
Wouldn’t you be, if the last time you saw this thing it was just a tiny pup? “Ghost” indeed.
We catch up with Jon and Sam during the daytime, scrubbing the mess-hall tables with—
@theSamwellTarly: Times are so tough on the Wall we have to clean our mess hall tables with sand.
@jennnmarshall: O Sam, my neckbearded little butterball, I’m glad you’re here. I liked Jon Snow before, but now I’m in lurve.
And you had to know this was coming:
@ohheyitsbutler: Well Jon Snow… I know exactly where you can put it. #bemylordsnow
@Nabigboobs: I’m more than happy to be Snow’s first. Oh yeeeeeah.
@Stefichan: Jon Snow, you unplucked flower. I don’t think you DO know where to put it.
@Amlys: Jon Snow, I love you. Even if you didn’t know where to put it.
@SuperPistolSari: Hey Snow, I could fix that for you.
@Soulrific: Lawd, please don’t let Jon Snow be gay.
@gandtea: I’m in love with a virgin.
@mherr1979: This is adorably awkward.
@silkskinned: Roommate just contributed, “I’m always confused by how men bond.”
@silkskinned: Jon Snow does PSAs for “It Gets Better” AND abstinence programs.
Beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, where’s Esmé Bianco when you really need her?
@Lastbitepodcast: What’s with the fascination of red hair..
@RozD: There is a whore in this weeks #GameOfThrones called Roz. Whores, antisocial slug monsters, my name never catches a break!
@TheMichaelMoran: Do you think we’ll ever meet Ros the fruity redhead?
@Amlys: People keep talking about this redhead whore with the big tits. Show us Ros!
@RozD: More talk of Roz the prostitute every1 wants Roz, it seems she’s fit like, I’d do Jon Snow wouldn’t have to pay me though.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: THIS FUCKING ROS HAS FUCKED EVERYBODY! JONS MAIDENHEAD IS MINE!!
Easy, Tiger.
@omnipotentseal: Thorne is kinda fucked up.
@cdeminski: Oh I don’t know, Prince Porkchop would keep you warm at night….
@ReallyAlly: I know why this Ser Thorne is so grumpy; he got frostbite on his dick.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: LOL “IT IS A BIT NIPPY”
Great line. Owen Teale just crushed his monologue though. That was great.
Shockingly, back at the Dothrakis…
@tribalmeg: Oh look, a Targaryen being psycho again.
@cdeminski: Blondie’s brother is NOT into Barbarian fashion.
@Roewoof: Someone needs to kick Viserys’ ass. I mean a good ass beating. Preferably a woman.
And then… Twitter exploded again. It went from a steady update of 20 to 87. Bam.
And Khaleesi is why. You go GET you some, Emilia Clarke!
@AerithYunie: “The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands” best scene in #GameOfThrones 1×04! <3@Roewoof: Yeaaaa! #Daenerys
@gusandleo: BOO. YAH.
@chewbacadefense: You have awoken the dragon!
@ChloeDenmark: fuck. yes.
@JacketofBlue: Dany!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3@onlytheholly: Whoooo! Go Dany! #GirlPower
@bibliotech: DON’T MESS WITH DANY. NEVER EVER EVER. #teamdany
@jacobite11: Dany, you go girl!!!
@lilnerdette: Mhmmm, you tell em, Khaleesi.
@silkskinned: The apartment just filled with thunderous applause. DANY IS OUR QUEEN
@keithnation: “The next time you raise hands to me, will be the last time you have hands”.
@cdeminski: Oooh, look how surprised Blondie’s brother is when Blondie kicks his ass! Nice! I see G. Martin believes in woman power.
@StoneyboBoney: How long until Daenerys has a slo mo with “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta” playing in the background?
@SSRDoug: Nobody puts Dany in the corner!
@pigeonspotting: “You’ve woken the dragon!!” lololololol
@storacle: Take that you hot blond douche. Love Dany!!
@Jeje_Baby: Standing ovation for Khaleesi!!
@Amlys: OOHHHH YEAAHHHH!! Go Danaerys!
@keifstwocents: The blond just became incredibly hotter after beating her brothers ass.
@silveraspen: — I retract my previous, DANY is still first in my heart. And then Jon, and Tyrion.
@sennical: Dany’s gradual ascent into complete badassitude is so awesome to watch.
@ChicTVGeek: #GameofThrones is giving us some really great, strong female characters. Daenerys has come a long way in a very short time!
And that’s just a taste, really. Winter and I saw the same response when they played that at the TCA’s. Powerful. Clarke took that scene and wrung it by the throat. I think we’re getting a little peek into the fury of Daenerys Stormborn.
(“Mother! Mother! Mother!”) (D’aahhhhh—I can’t wait.)
We then go from one fury to another of a different sort. Conan Stevens sighting! Well, just a peek of him. That’s one black-ass beard.
@wellslawoffice: Gregor I’m scared.
@tribalmeg: OMG! The Mountain That Rides!
@djryan: Is Ser Gregor Clegane played by one of the Knights Who Previously said Ni?
@tribalmeg: Gregor Clegane, one of the many batshit people inhabiting King’s Landing.
@bates_jonathan: The Mountain That Rides just doesnt seem big enough.
…He’s seven feet tall.
Anyway. There was some brief discussion about Ser Hugh’s, er, accoutrements. And the results they produced.
@tribalmeg: Okay, so my husband builds armor. I was just at an armory museum in March. WHY was he jousting in that helm??
@ChrisWaller: “He’ll be a recurring character”. Lance to the neck. Maybe not.
@thebratqueen: Ooooh that’s gonna leave a mark.
@allflicker: “Welcome … to Medieval Tim….. Oh my .. OH JESUS!”
@jennnmarshall: It’s only a flesh wound
@gusandleo: Well that’s… why they need a gorget under that armor.
@philorphilip: Don’t wear a kicker’s helmet when jousting.
@lilnerdette: Wait, is that how jousting goes?
@talulah_z: ok …. eeewww gurgle gurgle…
@Lucid_Dragon: I like the name GregGORE!
@BobbyzGrind: Dude caught a mean L in the joust on #GameofThrones, wow.
@studyinpink: Boo #gameofthrones booooo! Needs more tournament! One lousy joust was hardly enough! Biggest letdown so far.
More in the upcoming episode!
Meanwhile, Littlefinger seemed to be putting the moves on Sansa… right in front of her sister…
@kamillerose: I’m sorry, but Littlefinger is hawt
@Dinkologist: I love how blunt Arya is. Just says what everyone is thinking.
As soon as he launched into his tale of “The Mountain and the Hound,” I knew we were in for a shit storm of biblical proportions. San/Sans in for the kill!
#HOUNDGATE
@silkskinned: LITTLEFINGER THAT IS NOT YOUR STORY TO TELL
@Stefichan: THIS IS SANDOR’S STORY TO TELL WTF
@pokertrace: wtf why is littlefinger telling sansa this story?? HATE. >:(
@vcav: What the fuck I’m so pissed they changed that scene from the book sansa is supposed to hear that story from the hound ugh
@jennnmarshall: Aww, I was looking forward to the Hound telling Sansa that story. Littlefinger’s creepiness factor is A+, tho.
@Allahschild: Always thought jousts were insane. Loved Littlefinger/Carcetti’s story about the Hound.
@mherr1979: Yeah, Littlefinger and Sansa…creepy as fuck
@queenofcrows: Ew, creepy creeper is creepin’. GTFO Littlefinger!
@nnaysayer: #GameOfThrones was great tonight as usual. Casting is pretty spot-on, Littlefinger whispering to Sansa was creeper perfection.
I think it should finally be clear to nearly everyone that the writers—and Rory McCann—are playing a much more subtle, withdrawn, angry-inside character. And in defense of it …
(Not that I think they need it) …
Look, I love GRRM’s version of the Hound; he’s insolent, angry at everything, and more than a little emo when drunk. And it works because there are no other characters like that. He’s unique. However, what works in the book I don’t believe would work onscreen. The impression of time’s passage feels different. You can’t build a badass and then break him down in the fourth episode. Half the time we see him in the first two books, he’s A. drunk off his ass, and B. rambling at Sansa as though she were his psychiatrist. Were I writing it, I would invent a different scene rather than the one where he drunkenly escorts her across the field, stops halfway, and then spills his guts to her. Hell, I wrote the book version in my script outline and it felt wrong. Like we were rushing in to the Hound, getting into his mind too fast. I argue you can’t go there yet. Not all the way. I want a darker, more mysterious Hound.
I think the Hound will clearly have an affinity to Sansa, as evidenced by their encounter outside the inn in episode two. And you can’t go the fast route with an older Hound, as played by McCann. He would seem extremely immature, and I truly believe him spilling his guts so early in the series would hurt the character’s believability.
It’s a slower burn, but I still think it’s a burn. It’s sort of the same thing they’re doing with Cersei, making her more subtle. Really, the only out-and-out loony, emotional characters are Viserys and Joffrey. And I love the Hound too much to see him go that route. Patience.
End ramble. Speaking of Cersei…
@Jo_Hoskinson: Good god what have they done the Cersi hair?!
@Pixels_At_PAX: Little things like this annoy me. Cersai’s hair is COMPLETELY different….
Well it’s a good thing I have an answer! At the Hand’s Tourney, Cersei is seen wearing a wig. It’s an admittedly… eye-catching wig, and looks a little like something Gary Oldman wore in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Scary! Robert, in perfect form, made a drunk ass of himself, so Cersei got up and left, went back to the Red Keep, took the wig off, combed out her naturally golden hair (and we then see Lena in a much more natural-looking wig), and marched on over to visit Ned for a friendly chat!
@ReallyAlly: GTFO Cersei you stupid whore
@koneill6: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If Lena Headey was your sister… you’d consider it
Word.
So to the final scene we go…
@Valkyrie_FD: It has to be said: Tyrion Lannister (the dwarf) in TV version of #GameOfThrones, is about the best character (and actor) ever. I <3 him!@Lucid_Dragon: Next time I got to IHOP I am going to yell out. “Boy! Meat and Beer! Quickly!”
@gorbash78: Holy crap. It’s Jerome from “Robson and” fame! Is there anyone not in this? Well, apart from Robson..
@wimble_: Argh. Catelyn Stark goes into name-dropping mode! So many people to keep track of!
@Lucid_Dragon: Twin Tower mention on #GameOfThrones wierd
We think the Freys are weird too.
@jacobite11: Run Tyrion, RUN!!!
@LadyNorthman: Oh no Tyrion!! RUN!!!!
@ReallyAlly: RUN TYRION
@missouttamyway: AWWWWm HELL NAH!
@noir_nucifera: WAY TO GO, BRAN’S MOM. #gameofshitjustgotreal
@AlexofLiveagl: Noooo Lady Stark.. the dwarf wasn’t part of that shi man
@gusandleo: Sh*t? Meet fan. #GameofThrones
@aurel_ska: Cat I know you’re just following the evidence, but you’ve got the wrong Lannister! #gameofthrones I want more;_;
@ohheyitsbutler: You know what? Lady Stark is growing on me. #TeamCatelyn #whatnowbitch
@MaxBeras: Alright, Lady Winterfryd needs to cool it. Just because it was the imps sword doesn’t mean he tried to kill your monkey son.
@ReallyAlly: CATELYN SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORISH MOUTH
Good heavens!
So the episode ends. Credits roll…
@calystarose: ARGH! DON’T STOP NOW *SHAKES TV*
@Omagus: These #GameofThrones episodes are way too short.
@TheShickle: These end of episode cliffhangers just get better and better
@BrettAlexanderW: What An ending to this weeks #GameOfThrones. Totally did not see that coming. I love this show!
@marcDAmico: This show keeps getting better and better. What an excellent screenplay. Making me want to read the series all over again.
@JJ_Shadoe: Best episode yet. The show is finally sinking its teeth in.
@BombedOut: First episode is a bit crap but it gets better and better and yes, everyone IS a bastard.
@SteveB_uk: #gameofthrones ep4: best yet. Deliciously evil. Every character treated better, acting is superb. After slow start, is becoming must-watch.
@dalelazarovXXX: #gameofthrones should really be called Game of Assholes. So much brutality!
I don’t really equate “asshole” to “brute,” but alright.
Some were not in agreement of the episode being completely 100% awesomesauce:
@TheRedViper: Worst. Episode. Ever. #GRRM is prob so pissed.
Well, worst out of four isn’t the end of the world. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say very little is pissing GRRM off these days. (Well, unless he hates money. And being on multiple bestsellers lists. And money.) But I’m curious why a Prince of Dorne would care. Unless the Prince of Dorne is a secret San/Sanner. I feel your pent-up rage!
Of course some people gave reasons:
@foxgnaws: #GameOfThrones Wow. That is a lot to take in all at once. Looks like I’m better off just reading the books first.
@TweetestTaboo: Too many characters on #GameofThrones for my ADD to handle.
@MrsAlSwearengen: Dreading 9 months from now when moms name their kids after #GameOfThrones characters
@snapnoris: @GameOfThrones Unfortunately #GameOfThrones is a porn series. It’s no what I was expecting to watch.
Gentle reader, I know porn. That ain’t porn. One of my friends is still bitching that Doreah’s boobs were covered by her hair 90% of the time. (And by one of my friends I mean me.)
Others know how to flatter the show:
@cranialspasm: HBO: Heroin for your eyeballs. #gameofthrones
@Gaming_Jobs: Does liking #gameofthrones make me a geek?
It sure does! HA! NERRRRRD!
But Twitter reaction was generally strong. I’m noticing less and less negative comments (aside from HOUNDGATE) overall than in the beginning. Of course that’s probably because the series haters have moved on to Desperate Housewives or some shit.
@beatccr: yes…definitely the best episode so far.
@mmbbhenny: #gameofthrones is my new obsession. I thought i would be into #theborgias. Boy was i wrong. #hbo #showtime #imawesome
Some love for the Cogman. Cogster. Cogmeister. Coggggg.
@_jilly: I am woman, hear me roar in Ep. 4! Good job Bryan Cogman! #GameofThrones
@scazzasofija: @BryanCogman Thanks for packing in so much from the book Lines too Really appreciate it
@Joseph_Campo: @BryanCogman nice episode! Dug the Theon/Tyrion scene and the Thorne monologue. I’m digging the new stuff, completes the picture.
P.S. Get Joe on the Show!
Annnd… what Twitter review is complete without…
@ImogeneHarris: how many boobs will be in this wks episode, bets on
@AHultquist88: Hey @HBO does the ‘B’ stand for boobies?
@Clovehitchjohn: An evening of Blood ‘n’ boobies.
@BrianC_DLong: The perfect episode would be four pairs of boobs followed by Dinklage saying something snarky, but revealing about himself.
He was snarky and revealing about the Greyjoys. Close enough!
See you in two weeks, peeps!
FaB
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