ReTweet Offender
Well, we knew this one was going to be a doozy.
We come to our second-to-last weekly Twitter reaction recap, taken from various tweets that were hashtagged #GameOfThrones (via my @Axechucker account, with help from @The_Rabbit01) for episode 9 of Game of Thrones: “Baelor.” Anyone who read A Game of Thrones knows what “Baelor” means. It is with equal excitement and nervous glee that we fans have waited for the final moments of this episode; more so even than “The things I do for love,” this one, finally, showed us George R.R. Martin’s true colors.
This episode was a slow burn, with the number of #GameOfThrones tweets-per-minute starting somewhere in the 40-per minute range and ending at a brain-blowing I-couldn’t-even-follow-it-but-they’re-mostly-all-just-screaming-“NOOOOO.” I probably missed more than a few on my first go ’round, and had to play scramble for about an hour after the east coast telecast ended.
There are no spoilers here for anyone who watched the episode. If you missed the episode and are coming to read the Tweets… Well, that’s on you, pal.
As the time to watch settled in, the online movement to #FreeNed continued strong. Of course most of them are fictional characters. With Twitter accounts.
@theSamwellTarly: Call the banners, every north and river man who can hold a sword to fight! Tonight we dine in #baelor to #freened!
@Blackfish_Blues: @theSamwellTarly A truly rousing call, lad! Never let anybody put you down again. You have my sword & my bottle of mead. #baelor #freened
@TheRobbStark: Anyone else want to question my leadership??? @Grey_Wind is waiting to discuss it with you! Join the Starks and support us to #FreeNed
@Ser_Loras: #FreeNed? He’d be as free as his hair if he listened to my boyfriend.
@merigrande: #FreeNed because he has to talk with @JonBastSnow about his mummy!
@JonBastSnow: Some people are complaining their #FreeNed Ravens are not appearing on Raven searches!!! @Queen_Cersei may have bribed them… #badqueenie
Even Ned got in on his own campaign:
@LordEddardStark: Universe Crossover: Can someone please employ either The Doctor or the crew of the Serenity to come save me? #FreeNed
@Queen_Cersei: @LordEddardStark With wit like yours, I may just #FreeNed after all.
@_susaramsch: I see that the #FreeNed movement still hasn’t died down. Good. #TeamLannister needs more people to laugh at.
@DrogoTheKhal: *throws in a few ripped out tongues of my enemies in support of the #FreeNed cause*
@Ser_Pounce: I’ve been eating all the ravens from the #freened campaign. I’m telling you now because I’m stuffed and don’t care if Lady Whiskers gets any.
@theSamwellTarly: @Paco_ICEandFIRE We can cry together, friend. Tears of happiness, once we #freened
@AryaSheWolf: I say sod the #FreeNed campaign (sorry dad), I say #FreeSansa! She owes me a few stags I lent her cos she spent her allowance on milk bones.
Arya… !
Various thoughts and musings were tweeted. Some were perhaps best left un-tweeted. Like topics from last week that just won’t die. (Though only the most important ones, of course.)
@ReallyAlly: I think @KristianNairn a.k.a. Hodor is whiter than me… and I’m pretty damn white
And how often is it that you get a response from Hodor that’s not, you know, “Hodor?”
@KristianNairn: @ReallyAlly I agree , I make the White walkers look like they have a healthy glow.
Optimism ran its course…
@SciRice: Almost time 4 @GameofThrones. Can’t wait 2 if they will #FreeNed and find @LadyAryaStark. #GameofThrones is a must watch!
And there were scheduling choices to make. Choices, choices…
@Boobie_Jenkins: Fuck the NBA Finals, #gameofthrones!!
@itzTheeTiFFANYJ: Eff the game ~>>#GAMEOFTHRONES!!!!
@Maryrose_Wood: The music….the dancing….I wish I could quit ya, #TonyAwards….oh, wait, I totally can. #GameofThrones. Be back in an hour.
“Game of Thrones was on!”
“I know, I know!”
Andy: he’s the smart one.
We readied for the episode as we always do…
@eefster: It’s time it’s time it’s time it’s time it’s time *deep breath* it’s time it’s time it’s time. Oh how I love #GameofThrones #Baelor
@lari_thekilla: tenso tenso tenso…
@EmpyreanBand: GameofThrones Don’t lose your head… #Baelor
@MJShupe78: Man I want to read the books now but i don’t want to ruin the show for myself
@mparis: Ready? Set… DIE.
@MoodyJ66: Game of Thrones time. How many people will I want to kill while watching tonight’s episode?
Maybe mostly Joffrey?
@Alli734: Like lord of the rings you can have a wank too…..
Oh, totally.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: CAPSLOCK IS ALWAYS ON FOR #GAMEOFTHRONES
@LoganPayge: Lights are off. Volume is up. I’m ready
@laurameakin2977: Get the idea this won’t end well tonight #GameofThrones as for joffrey even his name pisses me off!
@TVHilton: Seriously, people: if you aren’t completely obsessively focused on #gameofthrones, your life is pathetically incomplete.
Here here!
@MsCassity: Five mins till the EPIC @GameOfThrones episode!! Go Sean Bean!!
Why would you want him to go? He’s been great!
Some people are just so hard to please…
A noticeable change was noted by many in the opening credit sequence…
@esc_key: The Twins are now in the opening of #GameofThrones. I spit on them! #Baelor
@mherr1979: Holy crap, was that the Twins?! Awesomesauce!!!
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: WTF THE TWINS?!!! GTFO FREY! NOBODY WANTS UR FERTILE ASS IN THIS SHOW!!
Our Paco: never without a strong opinion.
So we open with a beautifully dark scene (ALAN TAYLOR—take your bows) in which all we see is Ned’s silhouetted face and hear his breathing. And then along came a Spider…
@DePhrank: when i was a child, they cut off my balls with a hot knife #gameofthrones …Ouch! wtf?
@katiebabs: Whoa TMI Mr Eunich!
@DrensBspot: Dayum… cut em off when he was a BOY?
@chidorme: …does that mean Varys is the NSA? #gameofthrones #baelor
Varys, played by a quick-witted and sublime Conleth Hill (In Nina Gold We Trust), has some wisdom to impart upon dear Ned:
@afrofantasy: Varys is the best kind of slime: the informative kind.
@Sir_Davidio: Varys is so cute. :3
@LadyNorthman: for once in your pathetic life Ned PUT ASIDE YOUR FUCKING HONOR AND DO WHAT HE SAYS!
@NiceQueenCersei: Man of honour. Take the black. Go on.
To the Twins we go! Or to their window, specifically. A raven takes wing, bearing an important birthday wish fo—
@Blackfish_Blues: Theon putting archery skills to good use. Also, “Expect nothing of Walder Frey and you’ll never be surprised.” Heh. #baelor
@Sir_Davidio: The Twins look better than I imagined. I’m okay with this. :)
Twins looked GREAT. Possibly the most realistic backdrop I’ve yet to see. Kudos to the VFX team!
Catelyn volunteers to go inside. After all, “I’ve known Walder Frey all my life. He would never harm me.”
And Catelyn is always right.
We meet Lord Walder Frey, not quite looking ninety as was described in an earlier episode, but David Bradley (he of Harry Potter’s Filch fame) played him as a man quite keen:
@DeAnnSmithkc: Hey, it’s Filch! Harry Potter dude on #gameofthrones
@awhitby: Was Argus Filch on #GameofThrones last night, or am I confused? #HarryPotter #GoT #WheresMrsNorris
@xxobrittttt: Filch & tonks??? In #gameofthrones ??? Ahhh I love life<3
@NiceQueenCersei: Frey household is far more disturbing then ours
And that’s saying a lot. I think his 15-year old bride, Lady Joyeuse Frey, was played by @KellyLongLegs (Kelly Long) on Twitter, that is if I’m reading my Twitter feed right (via @westerosorg).
@BadClaire: Spot on casting and set for the Freys and The Twins
@Josh_Hodkinson: I think they got Walder Frey spot on. Just how I imagined him.
@Blue_Tune: Instinctive loathing. Think that means they got that casting right. #LateLordFrey
@Dinkologist: Ugh. This pervy old man is creeping me out.
@_susaramsch: Walder Frey is missing his ‘Heh’.
I think he said it once. Well, it was more like an “Ehh.”
@Blackfish_Blues: So Hoster is still alive. “Fine Lord Tully”, interesting.
That’s our dedicated ‘Blues, still holding out hope for the Blackfish.
Catelyn returns to the camp—by the way, how freaking awesome did these camps look? Both Lannister and Stark had unique feels to them. Authentic. Props for the props, Gemma Jackson!
Extra props to Michele Clapton, who gussied up Greatjon Umber with decorative iron chains. He’s his house’s own sigil. Badass.
(I seem to be propping a lot of people today. Which is fine. Since this was the best episode of the season.)
Anyway, Catelyn returns to camp to deliver the great news:
@JrDreadOnline: Now THAT is an arranged marriage!
@vivaciousvirgo: Arya will slice and dice that kid before she marries him.
@minemonkey: Robert has to marry an ugly woman just to cross a bridge!
@ReallyAlly: ROBB GOT TROLLED
@shannonpixie: hahaha, Arya has to marry a Frey. AND SO DO YOU ROBB! #fuckallfreys
Hey! Julia Frey is still cool in my book.
@gusandleo: Oh, gee. At least Robb gets a choice. Not so much for Arya.
@cdeminski: Did you get a look at his daugters? I did, but I can’t tell you what they looked like – you just had lunch
@Roewoof: ARYA IS NOT GOING TO MARRY THAT BEASTS SON!! HOW DARE SHE PROMISE ARYA?
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: MARRY ONE WITHOUT HERPES ROBB
@amarettosaurus: And? Well they all look like inbred hillbillies.
@LyannaTargaryen: “One of them was…” — A ringing endorsement for your proposed daughter in law.
A few odd yet desperate requests:
@ReallyAlly: SERIOUSLY JUST MAKE ROBB MARRY THE FREY BITCH RIGHT NOW AND YOU WILL SOLVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS LATER ON
@millymeggy: Just marry the darned Frey girl now, Robb, plsplsplspls kthnxba
Makes no sense. I mean, why rush it. Carry on, Robb.
And now a message from Jeyne Westerling:
@JeyneWesterling: @ElaineMCarter @Theon_Greyjoy: O_O You’d need both hands for the Greatjon, I imagine. #wouldrathernotimagine
… What?
Okay, this conversation has gotten completely out of hand.
Let’s visit Jon at the Wall.
@brigadeiro: LONGCLAAAAAAAAAAAW
@AdamStretton: I want that sword
@wispa9: Jon is such an angsty teenager. I love it.
@millymeggy: Yes, Jon, show me your sword. Please. I’ll be your lover any day.
@SarBEARODACTYL: Awww, Commander Mormont! You old sweetheart.
@amarettosaurus: Jon gets a shiny present and still finds a reason to go all emo. #ohjon
@Keslynn: You’re so emo, Jon Snow. #gameofthrones
@Blackfish_Blues: First time we hear Jorah = Jeor’s son? James Cosmo is heartbreaking here. I wish Jorah would vindicate his honour.
Jon takes the badass bastard sword and shows it off to the boys!
@SaraDion: Man, the Knights’ Watch guys are like a bunch of frat boys. #GameOfThrones
@LyannaTargaryen: Chug! Chug! errr… Stab? #whywouldyouchantsword?
@Sir_Davidio: Jon straight up Jedi Mind Trick’d Sam.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: SAM REMAINS UNIMPRESSED I C. DATS NOT THE SWORD HE WANTS TO C #SNARLY4EVER
@BindsTheTuna: If Jon Snow doesn’t get naked by the end of #GameofThrones, Imma hurt somebody.
You already got Hodor’s Hodor, what more could you want?
That’s too much already.
Later, Jon is summoned to attend Maester Aemon up in the rookery. Peter Vaughan shows us why he’s Peter Vaughan.
@vivaciousvirgo: Old Nightswatch guy is a Targaryen?!
@majorbisho: Aemon’s speech was amazing
@LyannaTargaryen: Can someone please start a “The Children!!” Aemon meme?
@esc_key: Maester Aemon is like, “Are you new?!” I’m Aemon Fucking Targaryen, Lord Snow.
@ReallyAlly: FIRE AND BLOOD, BITCHES
@SuperPistolSari: Oh jon no no you keep your gorgeous curly headed fantastic face righttttt there.
@Roewoof: Seriously, Jon will never have sex? never make beautiful Snow babies?
@Blackfish_Blues: Love is the death of duty, blah blah. Less convincing part of whole deal for me, bit like “Jedis can’t get attached.”
@EmmaRobertson92: Really…being in the Night’s Watch is the same as being a jedi. Sort of.
I wanted to retort with something extremely witty and Star Wars-y, but I got nothin’. Someone pick me up!
Meanwhile, back at the Dothrakis…
@katiebabs: Moobs! #gameofthrones Uh oh, Khal doesn’t look good…
@vivaciousvirgo: The sun and stars is fucked up….man down!
@ReallyAlly: DROGO ;__________;
@cdeminski: Oh no!! Drogo!! Don’t die! #Weneedthebarbarian
@Mystery_Donut: Somebody get the Khal some penicillin
@Wura_CrazySexy: Oh no, my husband is ill….Drogo…..sniffs he can’t die
That’s Khaleesi’s husband, crazy sexy Wura!
@Blaquemagus: Khaleesi needs some conditioner
She—well, it’s a wig.
The Maegi is summoned into the tent they (hastily yet skillfully) erected around the fallen Khal … (Or is that witch just freaking slowwww? Kind of waddling up… doo dee doo…)
@LyannaTargaryen: Is it just me or does Mirri look like Stockard Channing? #Greaseistheword
@gusandleo: I’m pretty sure “just a scratch” isn’t supposed to look like that
@PLOTthickenr: If Khal Drogo dies ima be pissed
@IrinaDenali_: NOOO HBO! Khal Yummy Drogo must live!
@_susaramsch: ‘He’s very strong.’ Lysa Arryn said that of her son too, you know.
@deinemuse: Khal Drogo is wishing for waterproof mascara now.
@millymeggy: Damn, Qotho is hot. Too bad he’s a jerk.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: THAT BLOODRIDER IS SO PHOINE. TOO BAD HE LOVES TO SPIT. #RUDE #FINISHTHEJOB
@tribalmeg: She should’ve listened to the bloodriders. None of this would have happened. *sigh*
@Dinkologist: I haven’t read a single book and so I’m screaming Khal Drogo cannot die! Better not.
@_whatshername: Only death plays for life.
@Sir_Davidio: DON’T DO IT, DANY. DON’T EVEN.
@ReallyAlly: FUCKIN MAEGI WHORE I WILL CUT YOUR BOOBS OFF
@Blue_Tune Silent: Eurgh. Seriously, Dany. Get a clue. #MMD
@Skippyqsb: I swear, if one of the Dothraki’s starts chanting “Anal nathrach, orth’ bhais’s bethad, do che’l de’nmha” I’m outta here.
Excalibur reference! Nice.
@millymeggy: RakharoxIrri is my new OTP!
‘Twould be a contentious relationship methinks, but not beyond the realm of possibility. A lot of stubborn looks and Dothraki mutters. But plenty of room for it in season two! Until the H of the U, the Dany storyline has some room for a little Rakharo / Irri action, sure. But is it Rakhirri? Irrakraro? Decide.
@highheeledmom: Oh, Danerys…. lord this is creepy.
@NiceQueenCersei: blood magic will not end well. there’s a reason why it’s forbidden
@cdeminski: This is deep – they are going to kill the horse and save the barbarian. I like it. #bloodmagic
@hannahxb: “I am your Khaleesi, I will tell you what is forbidden” she is one bad ass queen.
@PLOTthickenr: I’m in love with Emilia Clarke.
Get in line.
Annnnnd time to kill another animal! Very popular. Animal death scenes always spike Twitter.
@ms_mili: Sssshhhhhiiiiiiiiieeeeettttt. #gameofthrones what in thee fu*k
@stefsstuff: Had to change the channel from #gameofthrones. Killing a horse? WTF?
@mythicscribes: #GameOfThrones has a very high horse body count.
@SuperPistolSari: Sucks to be a horse on #gameofthrones
@ghostwriterxx: Another horse bites the dust
@queenofcrows: Not another horse-killing scene, please. #GameOfThrones #B
@Jwareham1984: Tell u what, these horses are fuckin great actors in this #gameofthrones
@thepieman55: Horses throat slit in Game of Thrones. No need for alarm, his condition is stable
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: ANOTHER HORSE DEATH… CANT WAIT TO HEAR THE ANIMAL LOVERS TOMORROW COMPLAINING AGAIN
@AryaSheWolf: BREAKING: THIS JUST IN: A HORSE WAS KILLED ON #GAMEOFTHRONES. A REAL ONE. GRRM KILLED IT WITH HIS BARE HANDS. AND THEN HE FED IT TO ORPHANS.
You see? GRRM is a kind man.
@Dinkologist: This show is not for animal lovers.
@ReallyAlly: Meanwhile, PETA is having a shit fit.
@AsalamaTweetum: @theJackal24 killing horses and fat guy penis… not cool!
Hodor’s Hodor was last episode! Come on now!
So horse dies. Blood spurts. Dany stumbles outside and we get the fanbleepingtastic showdown between Jorah and Quotho.
@inkasrain: Knight versus Dothraki, finally!
@ghostwriterxx: go jorah! go jorah!
@_susaramsch: The fight between Jorah and the bloodrider is the most awesome yet!
@obsidianoffing: PWNED!
@DrensBspot: NOW THAT”S WHAT I”M TALKIN BOUT!!!!!
@wispa9: Ser Jorah Mormont. Badass. #thuglife
@artful_username: Oh, Jorah Mormont, how did I end up adoring you so much? I have odd taste in men.
Get in line.
@Phoenix_torn: Jorah got lucky.
I would contend he put on his armor skillfully.
Dany goes into labor. Isn’t that just like a woman on TV? Ser Jorah picks her up heroically…
@ReallyAlly: I don’t care if it’s not in the books, I really want a Ser Jorah/Dany sex scene.
@shannonpixie: Um. Jorah….not in there. Don’t. go. in. there. That’s so stupid.
@gusandleo: Dude, don’t go in there!
Dude went in there. Can’t wait for next week!
Meanwhile, we revisit Tyrion and co. at Camp Lannister, which is not as much fun as Camp Grenada.
@SSRDoug: Tyrion Lanister is G.Gordon Liddy.
@amarettosaurus: SHAGGA LIKES AXES. #bestquoteever
@dduane: …Who was it who said earlier that “Shagga Likes Axes” would be a great name for a rock band? Agreed
It was Hibberd. Of course it was Hibberd. Dude slays it.
Actually, Camp Lannister is far better than Camp Grenada if you have a wingman like Bronn on your side. Dude brings hot women for s’mores.
@LyannaTargaryen: Why Helllllloooooooo Shae!
@brigadeiro: SHAE! SHAE SHAE SHAE!
@ReallyAlly: NGL I’m a little disappointed with who they cast for Shae
@gusandleo: Oh I like her, she’s saucy! And wow… no mincing words for Tyrion.
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: OMG SHAE…. DIS BITCH. SHE LOOKS… SO MUCH LIKE I PICTURED HER THO
@ghostwriterxx: oh Tyrion..”I want you to fuck me like its my last day” soooo romantic
@Goofyfan_Chuck: Tyrion gets more action than I do! I must learn his ways…
@Mystery_Donut: Yeah, so I think I’m going to have to watch some of “Shae’s” porn on the internet later. Nice.
@adelaidethegoat: Aaaand boobs.
@mountain_duwe: so much midget porn.
@andrutap: I missed the boobs!
It’s Shae. There’s not a lot.
But I’m liking Sebil Kekilli! Tyrion’s body needs what it needs, but his mind also needs to be challenged, and now they’ve added a little puzzle for him to figure out. And really, what sort of personality did the book Shae have, besides “young and nubile?” I’m extremely interested in seeing whether or not they tie her in with any other stories.
Later, we rejoin Tyrion, Bronn, and Shae in the tent. Pajama party!
@JackStargatt: “I took her from a ginger cunt three tents down”, “did he not say anything?”, “he said… something”
@pigeonspotting: I predict a bronn/tyrion/shae three way
@Velvet_Rose: It’s like a slumber party
@RaeMae81: I want to have a slumber party with the Imp and Bronn!
@tribalmeg: “Does it involve the potential for losing fingers?” “Not if you win.”
@Sir_Davidio: Shae is a lot meaner in the show. :/
@mherr1979: Exposition with no sex? What are you and what have you done with #GameofThrones? LOL
@bibliotech: If this episode doesn’t give me a ton of Tyrion/Shay fanfic to read, I am cancelling everyone’s internet.
@VictorFreso: a #GoT le cambiaria el nombre por “Game of Boners”, de lo dura que me la pone
I LOLd.
@valeriemeachum: Nipped downstairs for some tea just in time to see Tyrion meet his match. :-D
@inkasrain: Look Shae, no choices for you. Play the game.
@megmacleod: Love that they’re playing Never Have I Ever in this week’s episode of #gameofthrones
@startrekjunkie: Your father beat you – But my mother hit harder.
@Blaquemagus: LOL. Your mother was a whore
@tyler_remmert: …and your father smelt of ELDERBERRIES! #PeterDinklageAccidentallyThinksHesInMontyPython
@Veruca_K: “DRINK!”
@jwla John: Bad ass Shae is bad ass.
@gusandleo: She’s definitely a match for Tyrion. #TeamTyrion
@Got2Luv_MeL: ┌П┐(–_–)┌П┐ Love Tyrion’s whore, they’re actually cute together
@mherr1979: I think Shae took one of Littlefinger’s whore classes.
@IwasBorninBlood: tyrion’s new girl is quite feisty #gameofthrones oh crap–he used to be married!?
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: OMG YEA THE TYSHA STORY!!
@tracybegins: oh hi peter dinklage’s emmy submission
Yes. Excellent retelling too. D&D need to take a bow for making this better than any flashback they could have done.
…Not that they ever do flashbacks.
@sarahreesbrenna: Tyrion’s Companions: So you married a ho at 16 while drunk off your head? Tyrion: That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas.
@D_AngelaWebb: I bet someone named their child Tysha
@sithwitch: This really does seem like the best sleepover ever, until the trauma set in. Thanks a lot, Tyrion.
@les111280: That story and his support of Gregor Clegane is why I hate Tywin Lannister.
@gusandleo: Haha poor Bronn. He just got that “Whoah I stayed about 5 minutes too long to this party.” look on his face.
@EmmaRobertson92: Oh poor Bronn ahaha
@SarBEARODACTYL: Ha…Bronn got sexiled.
Sexiled! That and sexting. You crazy kids and your … crazy kids … sex … isms.
Add sexposition too, but that’s a McNutt, I think.
Morning comes, a brisk dawn, and to war we go!
@jessadilla: In the game of thrones, you Lannister or you DIE
@Sir_Davidio: “Get my squire!” “You don’t have a squire!”
@_whatshername: No squire? Pod, where are you?! ;_; #favoriteminorcharacters
I think that was part of the inside joke. Personally, I blame Pod.
@vcav: watching tyrion all suited up in armor is killing me. SO LITTLE. LIKE A LITTLE LION.
@SenatorGiggity: AHHH HE HAS TINY ARMOR! /clapslikeaseal
@Pinkdaisy1123: “Stay low”
@randomronil: Stay Low! That’s quality advice!
@lizzhatesme: I want to see a Bronn spinoff.
@TheMichaelMoran: I think Dinklage & Shagger need their own spinoff series
Tyrion gives his clansmen a spirited and rousing speech, and they try and rouse him in return!
@marmol_light: half man half man half man half man half man half man half man half man half man half man half man half man!!!
He would need more rousing later. Shagga clangs his two axes together! They charge! Time for an epic battle sce—
@Paco_ICEandFIRE: WELL… THATS *ONE* WAY OF AVOIDING CHOREOGRAPHING A BIG BATTLE SCENE
@TheGinachu: LOL the TV show took Tyrion out of the battle hahahaah!
@tribalmeg: Seriously, Tyrion is unconscious thru the whole battle? In the book he gets to fight. What a crock.
We’ll go over this a little later.
@brigadeiro: “Did we win?” “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if we didn’t.”
@cdeminski: Daddy Lannister’s helmet makes him look like a Japanse warrior.
@_susaramsch: Chella adds to her jewelry collection.
@cheesehead1976: Oh! Wilhelm Scream!
I double checked! It’s true! There may have been two. Wilhelm may be wounded, but he will never truly die.
We move to the Stark side of things, where Catelyn and Ser Rodrik await news of the epic Battle of Whispering Woo—
@amarettosaurus: HBO: Avoiding battle scenes since Rome.
@MichelleVsMedia: Laaaaaaaaaaame. What’s the point of a TV version if you don’t show us the battles. :/
Yeah, no battles. And I’ll be fair about this: I am of two minds with regard to large scale battles. Because I know how much of a drain to the budget they can be. And they are time sinks for everyone involved. And within the massive pile of awesomesauce we got for this episode, there probably wasn’t much room for either the Green Fork or Whispering Wood. I don’t think I would have shortened a single scene by two minutes just to add two minutes of bloodletting.
Plus: I like that we didn’t see the Green Fork. I think the idea of Tyrion as a warrior makes his character less interesting. I’d prefer to see him scared and desperate during those should-be-rare moments (and we’ll probably get one in episode nine of season two anyway). Tyrion gutting a(nother) horse with his helmet spike? Like Tyrion the tumbler: no thanks. So I love what they did with the not-a-Green Fork.
Whispering Wood? It wasn’t even in A Game of Thrones. So it’s hard to complain that they did it nearly identically to the book. But yeah, I wanted to see something. I wanted to see Jaime cutting his way toward Robb—men falling left and right as he got closer, and closer—and then cut to Catelyn and Rodrik, waiting nervously. Yes. That would have been epic.
But I’ll say the same thing I always say: I’m not going to bitch that an A wasn’t an A+. Especially with regard to the best episode in season one. (WIll the final episode be better than “Baelor?” Unless the final scene is even better than we hope, I don’t see how it can.)
That said…
(I seem to be using a Twitter post as a soapbox. So be it.)
Mo knows shows. Toss the large-scale warfare fans a bone next year, HBO.
Anyway. Robb returns to Catelyn, triumphant. Damned good scene. Madden rules.
@Big_Pants: Golly how dashing is Robb Stark in that armour? #hormonalshallowbint
@danni82: They got Jamie pretty boy arse, though :).
@cynicgrrl: Robb and Jaime in same scene = too much hotness. #guh
@jflowlu: Rob better gut that Jamie Lannister like a fish!
@afrofantasy: If Greatjon called me pretty, I’d clench.
@ponyjockey123: Richard Madden,you don’t have a twitterbut I hope someone tells you thatyou are a freaking sex god. You kicked ass tonight
@sourpurple: Oh Jamie you are such a Woobie, I love you.
@SACricketGirl: KILL THE FUCKER, BRU!!! KILL HIIIIIMMM!!!!
@chidorme: “If we did it your way, Kingslayer, you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.” #robbstark
@Blackfish_Blues: Look what the cat brought in. A rather hot Kingslayer. Don’t like Jaime using words he’ll use w #TheBlackfish in AFFC
@djsakir: Jamie Lannister is gonna get his ass beat. I hope Mama Stark beats him till you can’t recognize his pretty incestuous face!
It could happen. However, in the previews for next week’s finale, it seems I saw a flash of Catelyn about to give a speech to Jaime that didn’t actually happen until near the end of A Clash of Kings. Can it be that they’ve figured out a way to get Jaime free—and keep Nikolaj Coster-Waldau busy—in season two? It slightly boggles my mind, the very thought. But there’s also still that rumored season-one-not-season-three death we’ve been hearing about…
This finale could provide surprises for all GoT fans, new and old alike!
So we then go to Arya…
@thefatandskinny: First stable boys and now birds. She is killing them all.
@tribalmeg: Arya Stark: “So if Sunday you’re free, why don’t you come with me and we’ll poison the pigeons in the park…”
@NiceQueenCersei: Arya is getting a lot of abuse.
My stomach got slightly queasy knowing what was about to happen. Just seeing her there.
We follow Arya to the Great Sept of Baelor…
@EmmaRobertson92: CANNOT HANDLE HOW EPIC THIS EPISODE IS OMG
@serbear37: “Oh, poor Sansa and her pretzel hair of betrayal.” I love the @vulture recaps
@thefatandskinny: Why is Sansa smiling? She is so dumb…really dumbm…fo real!
@tribalmeg: It’s all your fault, Sansa. He would’ve gotten away clean if you hadn’t been a little bitch. TV rewrites notwithstanding.
Sansa may have killed JFK and Elvis too. Though I think partial blame lies in some other people?
@omightykaye: cersei, you….you…..LANNISTER!!!! :-p
@SPIRITSRHIGH: #TEAMLANNISTER! #TEAMLANNISTER! #TEAMLANNISTER! #fuckned
@Sir_Davidio: “I am Eddard Stark. It is really bright out here. Can I get some sunglasses?”
@MKingJohnson: That’s KING Joffrey, pal! ;)
@gusandleo: The lies are bitter on his tongue, this does not go well for Ned.
@laurameakin2977: Oh no! This can’t be good!
@SACricketGirl: Oh no….Arya….
@shannashedevil: Oh, Arya, my heart breaks for you. Your sister is just a fool.
@Sir_Davidio: Oh no oh no oh no oh no
@amarettosaurus: oh god here we go
@lilnerdette: Feels a little like Jesus, doesn’t it?
@lilnerdette: Yeah, except Jesus didn’t go out like this.
@jessgreco: omg I can’t watch.
@katarzis: oh god oh god oh god
@Allahschild: This infuriates me to see Ned Stark going out like this, especially in front of his kids. Down with the Lannisters!!!
@SteveInTheBurgh: Mannnnnnn @gameofthrones is the fucking best show ever
@ReallyAlly: Where is Aragorn when you need him?
@TheJennaBee: Pls tell me they’re not about to kill Ned…..
They’re about to kill Ned. But not before he whispers “Baelor!” to Yoren in passing. I loved that. It helped ramp everything up even more, seeing him try to ensure his daughter’s safety. Though the other is firmly within Lannister clutches—he does what he can.
@mythicscribes: And, Sansa learns a valuable life lesson in 3,2,1…
@arendtj: Joffrey, you’re sooo dreamy… wait, what? NOOOOO!
@VicGiordano: WHAT! Pardon? Eh? No!
@jmunrath: You can create a monster, but not control a monster, Cersei.
@SB_Co: OH!!!! That lil…he’s gonna kill him!
@sunfire04: Didn’t see that coming o.O. Shit just got real
@soojin01: JOFFREY YOU DICK.
@EmmaRobertson92: Joffrey, you little shit :(
@baschea: you can yell ‘YOU BASTARD’ at your tv and mean it in a literal sense
@wispa9: Joffrey you little bastard.
@polyh3dron: FUCK YOU JOFFREY DIE IN A FIRE ASSHOLE (or by Whitewalkers)
@ms_mili: Fuck Geoffrey #gameofthrones on some for REAL sh!t. Fuck him being king. Somebody KILL him
@joaniemaloney: had a feeling that was coming but i really don’t want to watch this. :(
Ser Ilyn (with Ned’s sword, though who really noticed) ends it, the last thing we hear is Ned’s breathing…
Yoren shields Arya from the gruesome sight. And the birds take wing.
And Twitter goes even more batshit.
Viewers dealing with Lord Ned’s Head basically went through the Five Stages of Grief. It was sort of like a psychology clinic.
DENIAL:
@bellie7: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
@Barburella: no no no no no no no no no no no no no
@ARedheadThing: no no no no no
@tinababy09: Ned NOOOOOOOOO!!
@rrachelll: My heart just burst. Oh god no.
@dreamyeyed: No, no, no, no, no, no, NO.
@cdeminski: WHAT???
@SarahPrestige: HE DIED?!!?! No…no…NO!!!! :(
@bodysnatchers23: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@TheDarkPower: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
@PDX_Fire: Crap what happened? No don’t tell me
@cdeminski: WHAT JUST HAPPENED????
@Lowthor: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@crammus: Noooooooooooo!
@rosiefhillier: #Gameofthrones no fricking way..
@mountain_duwe: im gonna throw up. omg i cannot even believe what just happened.
@Owsler: Been a while since any story had me going, ‘No, no, no, no, no, fuck, no’, but dammit #gameofthrones gon’dunnit.
Stay strong, girl. #TeamSansa!
If we’ve gotten through our denial stage—
@0bsidianSn0w: No, still in shock…….
Alright, fine. I’ll give you a moment.
@MoreInteresting: Someone hold me?
Going a little far now. Let’s move on to anger, shall we?
ANGER:
@obsidianoffing: OH THAT IS BULLSHIT! fsjdlgslejf3tw593@(@*!&&
@ktobrien16: WTF #GameOfThrones??? WTF???
@candywest89: WTF??? Why??????????
@geoffwoody: GameOfThrones feckin hell!!!!!……
@MOMXW: F**KING HELL!!! No spoilers as promised but seriously…… F**KING HELL!!!
@J0rdanC: OH HELL NO HOW THEY JUST GONNA KILL LIL ARIA’S FATHER LIKE THAT?! I am boycotting… #PISSED
@HikaruChan7: WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
@bellie7: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
@_centraltime: GOD I CANNOT EVEN WITH THIS SHOW.
@fadiseikaly: REEVEENNGGEEE #deathtojoffrey
@intentionalbird: Winter is Coming, assholes.
@prgirl73: Seriously?! Did you really have to go by the book and kill Eddard Stark?! I LOVEHATE you HBO!
@SamuelERobinson: Bugger.
Bugger indeed.
@ismisemuireann: How could they kill off Sean Bean? You can’t just KILL OFF SEAN BEAN! IT’S WRITTEN IN THE CONSTITUTION!
Wat?
Please see:
@Kurtledge: And down goes Boromir…yet again
@tiffany: Sean Bean, famous for playing that guy that doesn’t make it out of the first book of the epic.
@portlandDunn: My only hope is that someday Sean Bean will be cast in a role that makes it through the 1st movie/season.
@AustinofEarth: #gameofthrones My new mission in life is to write and direct a fantasy epic in which Sean Bean wins.
BARGAINING:
@deranged54: Did #GameOfThrones piss anyone else off just now?
@linz_bee21: WTF #GameofThrones !?!?! Why would you do me like that….wheres this show sapose to go from there?!?! ughh #smh
@TheMichaelMoran: I’m glad Ned got whacked. He was too annoyingly noble; now there’s no way the slappable Joffrey can avoid a good shanking.
@hthalji: Wow. At this point they won’t have enough characters for season 2.
@Bleasy9: Gameofthrones is fucking with my mind. Quite possibly the best TV I have ever seen! I did not see that coming.
@KelseyCMS: I just kept saying “Not this episode, not this episode, not this episode…hoping to postpone the inevitable
…Okay, probably poor examples of bargaining. But here’s some nice depression!
DEPRESSION:
@KwanaWrites: I can’t breathe!!!!!!!!!
@EmmaRobertson92: I’M NOT CRYING. IT’S JUST RAINING ON MY FACE.
@SPIRITSRHIGH: Lots of sad, sad people in this room.
@sourpurple: omg sooo unprepared for that death
@inkasrain: :-( :-( :-(
@abebrown716: This is what I get for falling for a HBO main character/hero.
@deinemuse: I think I need some serious therapy after that episode.
@katarzis: GameOfThrones no thoughts, just tears
@jbottle: Omg I can’t I can’t crying
@Estelindis: Because I knew what was coming, I didn’t think it would make me cry. I was completely wrong. GRRM is cruelly awesome.
@mlaurelm: Arya. Sansa. Made it so much more painful.
I would say that’s what they were there for. Petyr Baelish wasn’t exactly offering his sorrow.
And finally…
ACCEPTANCE:
@_whatshername: So that happened.
@ReallyAlly: BE AT PEACE, SON OF GONDOR.
@stephenkrill: Ballsy move @HBO. Ballsy.
@NickBernardone: Tony Soprano was just killed off
@spliggle: Oh my holy Christballs. They actually just did that.
@SantiMateo: What do we say to the God of Death? Yes today, aparently #GameOfThrones
@MadeFromCorpses: In all the excitement he just couldn’t keep his head.
Ouch?
@fluffyman85: Now that is a WHAM episode of #GameofThrones if I’ve seen one.
@DEscudero: OH. MY. GOD. HOLY SHJSKDJF. @GameOfThrones just delivered one the best episodes on television ever. i have goosebumps and in complete shock.
@Khalahd: The explosion of tweets at the end of #GameOfThrones #Baelor killed my ancient laptop. Hahahaha. Figured that’d happen.
@XtraordinaryTae: Let this be a lesson to us, “honor” is overrated
I would take it as a sign that we should all begin a life of crime. I already have!
@maggie162: Best. Episode. Ever.
Yes it was.
@caliwinter: Was really impressed by tonights #GameOfThrones episode. The part was tough to read in books, kudos to @HBO for getting it right.
@BenCainPhD: I loved Ned Stark, but @GameOfThrones separated itself here from the rest of the fantasy genre as a great story
@zombiefunfair: The reactions to tonight’s episode of #GameOfThrones is glorious…
Maybe for you, Zombie Fun Fair.
And finally, the reaction that most ASoIaF newbies aught to have:
@ksquared_: Just bought the next 3 books for Game of Thrones! So stoked. Maybe I can finish before the 5th book comes out in July… #epic
Just so.
Next week: The Finale! We ain’t done yet.
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