Dame of Thrones: Asha Greyjoy

Who’s Yara Greyjoy? I’m here to talk about Asha.

Name: Asha Greyjoy, or Yara Greyjoy if you’re a punk HBO.

Family: Asha’s parents are Balon and Alannys Greyjoy, the former a man who isn’t winning any father of the year awards any time soon, the latter an unseen character driven mad by the death of her two eldest sons in the Greyjoy Rebellion. The rebellion also resulted in Asha’s younger brother Theon being shipped off to Winterfell as a captive/ward. On her father’s side Asha has three uncles, Euron, Victarion, and Aeron, all extremely well-adjusted and full to the brim with brotherly love. Her aunt and uncle Gwynesse and Rodrik seem relatively sane, probably because they’re from her mother’s side of the family. Not the most functional bunch, those Greyjoys.

Known Associates: Asha commands a crew of disreputable Ironborn, including longtime lover Qarl the Maid and childhood friend Tristifer Botley, whose marriage proposal she rejects because does she look like she wants to settle down, punk? Asha does have a husband, the 88-year-old Erik Ironmaker, to whom her hand in marriage was given by her uncle Euron. Since she wasn’t too keen to show up at that particular wedding, a seal was used in the ceremony instead.

Weapon of Choice: When she wants someone to do something, she will axe them with the utmost politeness.

What’s Her Deal? The only daughter of Balon Greyjoy, Asha was treated as a son after all her brothers exited the picture. She commands her own ship, goes on raids, and acts as her father’s second-in-command. Theon coming back to Pyke to rejoin the family and reclaim his place as heir led to some friction between the siblings, though honestly the way Asha let Theon hit on her before revealing her identity probably didn’t help matters. In the show she’s spent her limited screentime in the past two seasons attempting to rescue her brother from the clutches of Ramsay Bolton, while in the books she’s engaged in a power struggle with her Greyjoy uncles.

Why Is She Awesome? Look, I don’t know what you want me to say here—she’s Westeros’ equivalent of a pirate queen. How are you not getting the awesome factor here? She’ll fight when she wants. She’ll have sex when she wants. She’s similar to my boo Stannis Baratheon, who toils away on pursuits tangential to the main action, and as such she can be easy to overlook. That is, not to put too fine a point on it, a tragedy. She doesn’t need a husband or kids, because her “husband” and her “suckling babe” are her weapons. She doesn’t let anyone tell her she can’t do something, despite the fact that the Ironborn culture is pretty damn misogynistic. She kills people with axes.

Most Badass Scene: In the books: Queensmoot, Queensmoot, Queensmoot. In the show: Asha’s sole scene in season three, when she and her father find out that Theon has been captured and castrated by Ramsay Snow. I could feel the ‘80s hair metal shrieking away in the background when she disobeys Balon and sails off to rescue her brother. She has less than a minute where she actually gets to talk, but damned if actress Gemma Whelan doesn’t make it count. It’s kind of a thing with her. (Let’s just ignore the part where Asha decides to run away when faced with Theon’s psychological trauma and Ramsay’s attack dogs, mmmkay? I call such bullshit on that.)

Best Quote: From A Feast for Crows: “My mother raised me to be bold.” Hands down. Not even a question.

Fan Theory du Jour: Some believe that Asha will turn out to be pregnant in The Winds of Winter, but I want to talk about show-related speculation, namely that the Greyjoy uncles are getting the axe (harr harr), and with them Asha’s attempts to claim lordship over the Iron Islands. Does anyone really think Victarion, Euron, and Aeron might actually put in an appearance at this point? Asha’s plotline has already been drastically changed from what it was in the books, and if she has to meet up eventually with Stannis anyway, HBO might as well just skip ahead and send all the intervening Greyjoy political drama the way of Strong Belwas. It’s tough to say where they’re going with her character. Wherever it is, I really hope season five isn’t another one where she pops up for one, maybe two scenes.

Merch Me Up: There’s not much merch specific to Asha aside from an assortment of prints by amazingly talented artists. House Greyjoy merch, though, is an entirely different kettle of fish. Do you, by chance, wear shoes? Are you a fan of Greyjoy Division? Do you want more Game of Thrones/80s toy crossovers in your life? Do you not sow? Do you pay the iron price? Do you really, really, really like Krakens?

It Belongs In a Museum, aka Fanart:

“Daughter of the Kraken,” by Cody Vrosh. I want this tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.

Rebecca (@RebeccaPahle) is the Senior Editor at The Mary Sue and a regular contributor at Pajiba.

• Published on 08/22/2014 at 12:00 PM CDT
• Last updated on 10/21/2016 at 12:40 PM CDT