Behold the Iron Throne as rendered in carrots, golf clubs, and dildos
“Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat, ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest at ease.”
So spoke Stannis Baratheon of the Iron Throne, the chair from which the kings of Westeros ruled their realm. It is a magnificent chair, a punishing chair, a chair that cuts those who sit upon it both on the outside and the inside. The battles fought to win the Iron Throne have claimed thousands of lives, and there’s no telling when its lust for blood will finally be satiated.
Anyway, here’s what it would look like if it was made out of silly materials.
First up is the Carrot Throne, constructed by a New York-based Game of Thrones fan out of shredded carrots for his rabbit, Wallace, who makes an appearance toward the end of the video embedded below. The sculptor admitted in a Reddit thread that he later ate most of his creation, proving that, out of the three thrones in this post, the Carrot Throne is the most delicious.
Next up is the Golf Club Throne, made by the folks over at Direct Golf out of over 300 clubs. Of the three thrones in this post, the Golf Club Throne is the most similar to the actual Iron Throne, since it’s mainly made out of irons. Get it? Irons? You do? Okay.
Finally, we have the Dildo Throne, put together by UK bondage company Bondara as part of its upcoming “Game of Bones” product line. The image below is NSFW, since it is of a chair covered in dildos, so scroll down with caution.
Bondara used 200 dildos to create this particular piece, which could be yours if you win the contest Bondara is currently running. Of the three thrones in this post, the Dildo Throne is the one you want to be most wary about actually sitting on, and if you do, at least put down some kind of tarp.
Watch how the Dildo Throne was constructed below, and then wash your hands.
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