A Gashlycrumb Tinies for Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones is a show full of death, gore, and horror. The sheer amount of mayhem has inspired one redditor going by the handle of Moohog86 to rewrite Edward Gorey‘s famous alphabet poem The Gashlycumb Tinies to reflect the deaths we’ve seen on the show thus far.

This should not be confused with the A Song of Ice and Fire version of The Gashlycrumb Tinies that was running around the internet a few years ago. That one was based on the books, and though by now nearly all the deaths in it have happened, they hadn’t at the time. Some of the choices for the letters are the same though. (Especially X. Because there’s really only one choice.)

A is for Aerys, the king who went mad

B is Brandon, at the death of his Dad

C is for Catelyn, “no, not the hair”

D is for Drogo who wasn’t all there

E is for Elia, right after her kids

F is for Florents, their gods Stannis Forbid

G is for Grenn, who still held the gate

H is for Hoster, who reached his due date

I is for Irri, murdered off screen

J is for Joffery, done in by cuisine

K is for Karstark, his neck was cut clean

L is for Lady, when Nymeria was not found

M is for Mycah, run down by the hound.

N is for Ned, after Joffery’s accession

O is for Oberyn, who got a confession

P is for Pryatt Pree killed by dragon’s breath

Q is for Qhorin, who ordered his own death

R is for Robb, who picked the wrong bride

S is for Sandor, last request denied

T is for Tywin, who didn’t shit gold

U is the Unsullied, in an alley they couldn’t hold

V is for Viserys, a crown on his head

W is for Will, who shouldn’t have fled

X is for Xaro, Danny wasn’t impressed

Y is for Ygritte, who got shot in the chest

Z is for Zalla, burned completely to death (look it up)

Perhaps an artistic redditor will step forward and add Gorey-style cartoons to go with the poem? Still, even without drawings, this is very well-done.

• Published on 05/10/2015 at 11:00 AM CDT
• Last updated on 10/21/2016 at 1:04 PM CDT