The WiC Scale: Winners and Losers for “Unbowed Unbent Unbroken”

Welcome to the second installment of the WiC Scale, where we rank this week’s Winners and Losers in the great Game of Thrones. This week’s episode, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken,” featured five story locales out of a possible nine, so those that didn’t make the cut on screen will not be eligible for judgement. Dany, Jon, Brienne, Stannis: consider yourselves off the hook…this time.

We’ll start with those whose fortunes are rising.

Up

• Doran Martell & Aero Hotah: The fighting in the Water Gardens was the culmination of a badly thought-out plan by the Lannister Party and resulted in a badly acted fight scenes by the Sand Party. However, it was the man in the wheelchair and the man with the axe who stood tall and cut short the silliness.
• Myrcella: Disney Princess Myrcella lucked out. By having the entire Dornish plot condensed into a single seven minute scene, she not only got to make out with a boybander who wandered on set in a Dornish outfit, but kept her face intact. All 15-year-olds should be so lucky.
• The Boltons: Not only do they own Winterfell and the advantage in the coming fight with Stannis, but now they own the only known living Stark via marriage. Flay on!
• Littlefinger: How many plans can one man have? At this point the man not only has the Eryie and Sansa under his thumb, but he played Cersei Lannister for a chump and a half. Warden of the North indeed.
• Arya: A girl is ready to get a new hairdo and outfit. Level Up.

Middling

• Tyrion: Yes, he was captured by slavers, but he thought fast, and kept his head and cock and secured a ship that will take him and Jorah directly to Slaver’s Bay. Beats walking.
• Jorah: On the downside, he learned his father died and will never get to make up with The Old Bear. But along with Tyrion, he thought fast and is sailing home to Dany. You win some, you lose some.
• Cersei: She got what she wanted this week, what with Margaery getting arrested along with Loras, but allowed herself to be manipulated by Littlefinger.
• High Sparrow: He’s arresting the high born, but that means he’s about to come up against Olenna Tyrell. We’re on the fence about his chances.
• Theon: Ye,s he had to watch. But he only had to watch, and he even got a bath.

Down

• The Tyrells: Loras lost hardest, but it was difficult to watch Margaery discover that the title of “The Queen,” something she’d fought very hard to attain, wasn’t worth a hill of beans. As for Olenna, she came to do battle, only to discover she couldn’t fight an unarmed opponent who denied the field even existed. A hard day all around.
• Sand Snakes & Ellaria: That fight choreography?! What were you thinking?
• Jaime: Broad daylight? What were you thinking?
• Bronn: Broad daylight, and you let that little girl cut you with a poison-tipped dagger, despite the terrible fight choreography? What were you THINKING?
• Sansa: It was the most beautifully shot wedding, and Sansa even took a fashion tip from Margaery and married in a gown of her own design that honored her family. After that, Ramsay showed his true colors, and things got very bad very quickly.

• Published on 05/20/2015 at 12:30 PM CDT
• Last updated on 10/21/2016 at 1:04 PM CDT