Unsullied Recap—Game of Thrones, Episode 507—The Gift

Spoiler note: “A girl says nothing. A girl keeps her mouth closed. No one hears.” -Girls, boys, and others alike, Jaqen H’ghar has spoken, so please remember: This recap is primarily for non-book readers (book fans can discuss the show here). If you’re a book reader, please avoid posting any spoilers here so as not to ruin the fun for those who don’t know what’s coming next. Thank you!

“The Gift” is a doozy of an episode. Almost every scene seems to end on some sort of cliffhanger that begs the question, “Who’s about to bite the big one?” While that’s a question we always have to keep in mind on Game of Thrones, this week is just a little more ominous than usual.

We start way up North this week, at the Wall, where Alliser Thorne shares some words of wisdom with Jon Snow: “You’re being kind of a tool.” While that’s not verbatim, it is the gist of it, since Thorne—like so many of the Night’s Watchmen—feel betrayed by Jon’s imminent deal with the wildlings. These Boy Scouts sure know how to hold a grudge.

Sam, forever the faithful BFF, gifts a shard of dragonglass to Jon in case he needs to stave off any White Walkers on his trip to Hardhome. As if we don’t have enough to worry about in Westeros, I keep forgetting about the ice zombies. But I suppose we can’t have every formidable threat hanging over our heads all the time, so let’s get the ones closer to home out of the way first and then we can worry about these extras from the “Thriller” music video.

Sure enough, though, Maester Aemon seems to have White Walkers on the brain when he implores Gilly to take her baby and run South “before it’s too late.” But before we can find out precisely what he fears, the bedridden Maester calls continually for his dead brother, Aegon, and then the Night’s Watch plays a little “Taps” because he’s totally dead. I know he was old and all, but this came a little out of left field, didn’t it? Regardless, I didn’t see it coming quite yet.

Not that all the brothers of the Night’s Watch are too broken up about it, since a couple of them sexually harass Gilly and beat up Sam when he tries to intervene. Just as Sam is about to show off his chops and waste these losers, Ghost shows up to raise the roof and those boys run like a bat out of hell. So now I’m totally going to get a big-ass dog to love and, when need be, sic on sexual predators. My own life lessons aside, Gilly and Sam then finally consummate their long-standing sexual tension, so at least one thing gets resolved this week.

In Winterfell, things haven’t gotten better for Sansa since we left her last episode. She is now a prisoner in her own home, locked in a room where Ramsay visits her every night to do as he did on their wedding night. But while Sansa is still a victim, she’s not placated the way she was in King’s Landing. Invigorated by the knowledge that much of the North are still Stark loyalists, she accosts Theon, reaffirms his true identity, and instructs him to do as that rad old broad told her—light a candle in the highest window of the broken tower, and help will come. (We get a shot of Brienne keeping her eye on Winterfell, but nothing more.)

It’s such a strong moment—Sansa assumes authority and tells Theon with conviction that he is a Greyjoy, a betrayer of her family, and he has to help her. Sansa is taking control the best way she can in her situation, and once Theon regains his sense of self, they’ll be a formidable duo to beat. Much to my dismay, these events don’t come to pass this time around.

Ramsay sends for Sansa, who, unbeknownst to her husband, picks something up just as soon as he turns his back. Now, I watched half a dozen times and couldn’t make out what exactly the object was—a key, a knife, a corkscrew?—but I have no doubt that it will play a role in Sansa’s eventual triumph over her abuser. As they walk, Sansa plays mind games with Ramsay and taunts him with reminders that soon Roose Bolton will have a trueborn son who won’t have to be naturalized the way he was. The interaction was similar to one she had with Joffrey back in Season 2, when she manipulated him into feeling as though he should be in the front lines during the Battle of Blackwater. Back then she wanted Joffrey dead; now she wants Ramsay upended.

Unfortunately, Ramsay is yet to be thwarted. While Theon was ready to follow Sansa’s orders, he reverted to Reek as soon as he saw Ramsay again and subsequently snitched on Sansa’s escape plan. My rad old broad is now flayed and dead as a consequence, but she went out without telling Ramsay a GD thing. Sansa appears defeated as she’s led back to her room/cell, and while I know she’ll grieve, something tells me that she’s playing Ramsay, and she’s playing him hard.

I’m still angry and hurt over Sansa’s rape, and I won’t forgive and forget, nor will I simply “get over it.” But her commitment to escape is indeed a step forward in her character development. She was not an active participant in her escape from King’s Landing, but she doesn’t have to play clean at Winterfell and she knows it. She is taking the opportunities she can, and I hope this is inspiration for other victims of abuse and assault to do what they can, when they can, because they deserve more. At best it’s not easy, and at worst it’s dangerous, but you take the windows you can and you light your candles in them. Ramsay may know of that escape route now, but the North remembers, and Ramsay’s giving them plenty to chew on.

On its way to Winterfell is Stannis’s army, which is taking a major hit in the snowstorm. I don’t know why Melisandre doesn’t just do something about it; you’d think she had some Charizard powers to melt a path right through this blizzard. Davos sheds some doubt on their ability to make it, whereas Melisandre is confident of Stannis’s victory. But that victory will come at a price, and Melisandre tries to convince Stannis that the price is Shireen. He orders Melisandre out of his sight, but we still have no guarantee of Shireen’s safety. Stannis has proven his ambition before, and there’s really no telling what lengths he’ll go to to claim the Iron Throne. I want to be convinced that he won’t forsake his daughter, but it’s either that or he gets rid of Melisandre, and at this juncture I’m not sure that he’s capable of doing that.

In Dorne, Jaime’s adventures in babysitting aren’t going so hot, since Myrcella refuses to return to King’s Landing with him because she’s got a total lady boner for Trystane, and that’s it, that’s all that happens. When HBO’s official synopsis said that “Jaime tries to reconnect with family,” I honestly expected more than that.

Meanwhile in the Dornish cells, Bronn demonstrates his sweet boy band skills once again, but that wicked cut Tyene gave him last week is lookin’ to shut him up forever. I didn’t pay much attention to it at the time, but the more talk I heard about it, the more I thought it spelled the end for Bronn. But instead Tyene gives him a weird little strip tease and she tells him that, yeah, that dagger was totally poisoned and he’s about to have a long, painful death. Tyene is, however, conveniently wearing a necklace that contains the antidote, and she just gives it to him. No joke, she just hands that right over. While I’m sure that will eventually come with a price…Well, maybe she should have set those specifications first, because now Bronn won’t have any reason to do what the Sand Snakes ask of him. Maybe her necklace contained only half the antidote? I don’t know, but the Dornish really need to work on their strategy, that’s for sure.

There’s certainly some strategy going on across the Narrow Sea in Meereen, courtesy of Daario Naharis. He tries to emotionally manipulate Daenerys into marrying him instead of Hizdahr zo Loraq, and speculates that Hizdahr is the leader of the Sons of the Harpy, which does nothing for me but make me suspect that Daario’s into some shady business with the Sons. Maybe that’s a long shot, but Daario needs to pump the brakes here. Not that he does, since he then goes on to advise Daenerys to gather all the masters and slaughter them before the reopening of the fighting pits. Real nice, Daario.

Meanwhile, Tyrion and Jorah are sold at a slave auction which will ultimately make them participants in the fighting pits. Daenerys and Hizdahr are present for these matches, and Jorah just sort of walks around and kills everybody so he can emerge victorious, which he does, before presenting himself to his Khaleesi. Before Daenerys can banish him again, Tyrion rolls up and introduces himself. It’s actually a really cool moment; I for one didn’t expect Tyrion and Daenerys to meet, and yet here we are. It’s a little abrupt, but I’m really excited to see where this goes. Under the right guidance, I think Daenerys could succeed as a ruler of Westeros, and Tyrion has proven himself to be an accomplished Hand. I can’t say I’m convinced of the likelihood of this event, but I’m speculating on the possibilities here.

Ping-ponging back across the sea to King’s Landing, Lady Olenna has some words with the High Sparrow, among them “Don’t spar with me, little fellow,” which will now be my new phrase of dismissal when someone’s getting on my nerves. She goes on to threaten to retract House Tyrell’s contributions to the Capital if her grandchildren are not freed, but the High Sparrow’s bluntness might actually be a match for hers, as he points out that the impoverished outnumber the privileged and rebellion is basically nigh. So that’s nice and foreboding.

Apparently shaken, Olenna has another tête-à-tête, this time with Petyr Baelish. She threatens him, too, until he tells her that he totally screwed Cersei over so everything’s going to be smooth sailing for them. As if anybody on this show has smooth sailing (except maybe Gendry, since he’s still out on that boat of his).

Tommen’s understandably upset that Margaery’s imprisoned, claiming that there’s “nothing” he can do. Meanwhile I’m like… Yeah, man, you could probably disarm the Faith Militant and let her out. Okay, maybe it’s not as simple as that, but all the same, does Tommen not know how being king works? While I don’t think he needs to take a leaf out of Joffrey’s book, he could do with a little self-assertion. He’s a “man grown” by Westerosi standards, so why he’s acting like such a baby is beyond me; it’s almost enough to make you wish Tywin was still around to give him some direction.

Cersei promises that she’ll take care of it, which she totally won’t but as we all know, the way to gain your children’s unconditional love is to lie and manipulate and get their sex goddesses thrown into jail. Whatever, Cersei. While she makes no attempt to do as she promised her son, she does visit Margaery in her cell, and although Margaery gets the last word with “hateful bitch” (awesome), it seems for a moment that Cersei will once again come out on top.

But not so fast. She meets with the High Sparrow again, and he talks about the sinful nature of materialism, which is one big framing device so he can ask what they will find once they strip away Cersei’s own finery. Turns out Lancel has spilled all of Cersei’s super secret beans, and so she’s taken and thrown in a cell, too. I guess the High Sparrow’s not the harmless old bunny rabbit I thought he was. This weird theocracy just isn’t working out so hot for the upper echelon of King’s Landing. Personally, I think Olenna should just take the Throne and be done with it, but fat chance the Faith Militant would let her.

What did the rest of the denizens of the Unsullied army think? What fate awaits Cersei, and will Tommen bother to do anything about it? Does anyone know for sure what Sansa picked up at Winterfell, and do you have any guesses as to what role this mystery object will play? Will Stannis give up his daughter or his priestess? What price will Bronn have to pay for the antidote he already got, and for the love of god, why don’t the Sand Snakes know how to blackmail properly?

Remember — speculation is encouraged, spoilers aren’t! Please refrain from posting book spoilers here! Feel free to discuss the episode in the comments or Tweet me @kitmaj_, but don’t ruin any surprises for the viewers who haven’t read the books. Thanks, and see you next week!

• Published on 05/25/2015 at 1:03 AM CDT
• Last updated on 10/21/2016 at 1:04 PM CDT