Game of Thrones Episode 507—”The Gift” GIF Recap
Welcome back to our weekly Game of Thrones GIF recap. This week, your friend Razor (that’s me) has compiled some of the best GIFs from Episode 507, “The Gift.” We had some special scenes in this particular episode, with Reek betraying Sansa, the Bland Snakes having their best scenes of the entire season thus far, and the meeting of Daenerys Targaryen and Tyrion Lannister…and guess what? The internet didn’t implode! We did it, you guys!
Episode 507 started off harmlessly enough, with Jon and Tormund preparing to ride to Hardhome.
Tormund totally taunted every brother of the Night’s Watch. Is it too much to ask to have him brag about the size of his member, just once? HAR!
Jon gave command of the Wall to First Ranger Alliser Thorne-in-my-ass…
…and Olly dropped some major stink-eye.
Seriously Game of Thrones, is it too much to ask for you to NOT foreshadow this shit so blatantly? #OllyStinkEye
Sam gave Frodo some dragonglass and probably some lembas bread for his long journey to Mordorhome
Then they hugged it out. “I CAN’T QUIT YOU MR. FRODO!”
Maester Aemon made me cry.
“Egg, I dreamed I was old.” No really, I cried a lot…like a f@*king lot.
“He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out.”
And now his watch has ended.
Don’t worry Sam, you still have one friend at the Wall…well, two if you count that four-legged bundle of fangs and fury and death.
Gilly almost got Sansa’d (too soon?), but Sam was there to save the day by hitting the guy’s fists with his face.
The situation looked dire (I’m so clever), when suddenly Jon Snow’s direwolf appeared! Really though, Ghost gets all the best direwolf scenes.
Relieved that his brutal beating was over, Sam took a nap.
When he awoke, Gilly was in the mood…
…and Sam finally became a man.
At Winterfell, Sansa followed Stark family tradition by putting her trust in entirely the wrong person. Ned would be proud.
Reek, I’m Reek. It rhymes with LOL I’M TELLING RAMSAY.
*False hope intensifies
“Hey boss, that dummy totally fell for it. Want me to fetch your sharpest flaying knife?”
Sansa joined her newly betrothed on the battlements of Winterfell for some much-needed alone time.
Introducing Chekhov’s barrel auger.
Ramsay really just wanted to show his new bride the wedding present he got her. I’m pretty sure this was on their wedding registry, right next to a new toaster and a set of flaying knives.
Sansa was ever so thankful, and the lovers shared smooches. Look how happy Sansa is!
Meanwhile, just outside Winterfell where no one has noticed the overly-tall woman in full armor carrying a Valyrian steel sword…”POD, WHERE’S THAT GODDAMN CANDLE? YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WORST SQUIRE EVER!”
Also in the North, Stannis the Mannis is marching forward despite losing 40 horses. PETA won’t be happy with him, but by all the seven, he’s not stopping now.
Marching to war apparently makes a man super horny. “Woman, bringeth dat ass hither, tho.”
Mel had other ideas, you know, like burning Stannis’ daughter. *Stannrection deflated
“GTFO gurrl I took a Cialis before you came in here, and now I gotta do something about it.”
In King’s Landing, Tommen made like Gandhi and went on a hunger strike, and then he made like Joffrey and threatened to murder all his enemies, but nothing would bring his bride back to him. Luckily, Cersei was on hand to whisper sweet, soothing lies in his ear.
Elsewhere in the city, Lady Olenna tried to reason with the High Sparrow…
…and it went swimmingly, for him.
Lady Olenna received a letter from Lord Baelish. LEFT AND RIGHT SIGHTING!
Littlefinger had quite the productive meeting with the Queen of Thorns.
And she threatened him with horrible death. I love her.
In Dorne, the Bland Snakes had their most interesting scene of the season, all things being relative, of course.
Tyene showed us her “goods,” and taunted Bronn with an antidote for the poison running through his head (double entendre for the win).
The joke’s on Bronn, as this antidote is really a plotidote that will cause his head to fall off later.
Myrcella told her Daddy-uncle what every fan of the show has been saying since the season began…he’s wasting his time in Dorne.
We now interrupt this regularly scheduled recap to give you your obligatory not-nude Daario and Dany sexytime scene.
Near Meereen, probably while Dany was making nookie with Daario, Ser Friendzone and Tyrion were being sold to some guy who should be waaaaaay fatter than he is…but what do I know? Anyway, Tyrion had to kick some random dude’s ass to prove he could hang with his new bro, Jorah the Explorah.
“I. TOLD. YOU. MY. COCK. DOESN’T. BELONG. IN. A. COCK. MERCHANT’S. SHOP!”
Jorah was mentally preparing himself to fight, when suddenly he heard the word “Queen.”
“Khaleesi? OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT”
“RAWR I MUST SHOW KHALEESI HOW STRONG I R”
“Who is this masked man who dispatches these unwashed mongrels with the greatest of ease?”
“Bros don’t leave me…dicks.”
“Why, I’m beginning to feel a stirring in my loins…I feel a case of the vapors coming on, I do declare.”
I dub thee Wrong Belwas, Breaker of Chains, and Nodder of Bros.
“Khaleesi, tis I, your sugar bear. I have returned! Khaleesi? Kha…lee…si? Shit.”
“Oh yeah, I brought you a present, because I know how much you like flesh peddling.”
“Hi, I’m Tyrion, my friends call me tripod…”*wink wink
“Hey High Sparrow, great job throwing that whore in jail, good thing I armed you and and gave you so much power.”
“Oh hey Lanc…oh, right. The incest and the regicide. I’ll just show myself out.”
This is the most gratifying GIF since Tyrion slapped Joffrey on repeat. And, because I love you all, I shall provide you with both. ENJOY!
That’s it for this week kiddos, be sure to tune in next week when I breakdown Episode 8, “Hardhome.”
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