Razor’s Rant: Why Season 5 was the worst year of the show so far

Warning: This is an article written from the perspective of a book reader, and may contain spoilers from the books. Unsullied, considered yourself warned.

The curtain has dropped on another season of Game of Thrones. The writers and directors are busy with the pre-production aspects for Season 6, a brand new batch of cast members and locations will be announced at next month’s San Diego Comic-Con, and a short two or three months from now, principle photography will begin. That’s the unforgiving cycle that David Benioff and Dan Weiss go through each year in regards to Game of Thrones.

Perhaps this rigorous schedule is to blame for what many fans of the show see as a drop in quality in Season 5. And, while we are all Game of Thrones fans here, you are not being honest with yourself if you think this was the best season of the series.

I am first and foremost a fan of the books. You might have surmised that from reading my previous rants. However, what doesn’t come out in most of my articles is that I deeply love the show as well…and that’s why I can objectively look at this season and without a doubt declare that it was the absolute worst season in the brief history of Game of Thrones.

Allow me to explain. It is a well known that Benioff and Wiess were drawing on the fifth book in the A Song of Ice and Fire saga, A Dance with Dragons, as well as some scenes from the fourth book, A Feast for Crows, when constructing this season. These books have produced their own share of debate. You’ve probably heard some of the criticisms before: fans say George R.R. Martin could have combined the two books, cut them in half, and still effectively move all the major characters where he wanted them before moving on to the two as yet unpublished books in his series, The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring. In other words, many fans think that A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons had a lot of filler, and that a season of television based off them was bound to lack fluid storytelling.

I disagree. The fact that D&D had so much source material to pick and choose from should have allowed them to craft an amazing season…and that was the hope, after the first episode aired.

In Episode 1, “The Wars to Come,” we got the very first flashback in the series, a flashback that seemed to set up a story arc that would be discussed at length throughout the season…sadly, that didn’t happen. Why show the Prophecy of the Valonqar if the producers were never going to touch on the subject again?

The plot continued to show fissures. In Episode 2, Arya was finally admitted into the House of Black and White, which was a great moment for book readers to witness, but things went downhill from there. Cersei foolishly sent Jaime to Dorne in order to retrieve their daughter, which was a huge deviation from Jaime’s story in the books…I’m talking a massive deviation here, folks. Was it the right choice to make in the interest of streamlining the story? That’s still being hotly debated, but an overwhelming number of fans were sorely disappointed with the Dorne arc.

Jon Snow’s ascension to the position of Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch was expedited greatly, at the cost of some interesting and exciting political maneuvering by Sam. This is a shame, because I feel show-only fans would have loved to see our meek and mousy Sam finally get his hands dirty. Because of the events in the penultimate episode of Season 4, we were forced to accept Olly as Jon’s steward (instead of Edd), which helped to dial in the heavy foreshadowing of Olly’s role in his death. More on that later.

Episode 3 would have been the perfect stabilizing episode, if not for the fact that no one really cared about the future Faith Militant and the High Sparrow. There was absolutely no buildup to their introduction into the show…they just appeared with no backstory at all. Tommen and Margaery were married which could have been a great segue into the crown’s struggle against the Faith, but sadly that too was laid aside.

In episode 4, we got our first real look into the culling of characters when Ser Barristan Selmy was killed by the Sons of the Harpy in a fight he should have never been a part of in the first place. This episode also marked the wildly inaccurate portrayal of the Unsullied. Sure, they are not meant to be guerrilla fighters, but basic formations and battle tactics were seemingly forgotten, just so a fight could be more dynamic on screen.

This is also when the Sand Snakes made their underwhelming debut. Three talented young women being led by the former paramour of the now-deceased Oberyn Martell should have more of an impact on the show than they did. Their onscreen appearance can best be described as boorish and cartoony. They wore matching outfits, had a team chant, and fought like they were performing in a poorly choreographed Kung Fu Theater. They literally had one good scene in 10 hours, and it consisted of Poosy Spice slapping Asian Spice in the face.

Episodes 5 through 7 were largely forgettable with nothing of any real consequence happening. Pod and Brienne arrived in the town outside of Winterfell and met an innkeeper who seemed like he would have a much larger role…and then we never saw or heard from him again. Loras had his trial, which was really an elaborate trap to catch Margaery, because on the show, the Faith Militant are homophobic assholes whose only mission in life is to perpetrate hate crimes against anyone they deem a sinner, regardless if they are actually guilty or not.

Episode 8, “Hardhome” was the best episode of the season, and arguably the best episode in the series to date. For the first time in the show’s history, book readers could not predict what was about to happen. Jon was shown to be a complete badass warrior, and the Night’s King flexed his icy muscles—he not only massacred the majority of wildings at Hardhome, but he then proceeded to resurrect them and add them to his already huge army of undead. This was just the kind of moment the show needed to get it back on course…too bad the producers didn’t follow through on it.

In Episode 9, “The Dance of Dragons,” the showrunners decided to take what many fans in both camps (myself included) saw as an unnecessary step in Stannis’ story, by having him approve Melisandre’s plan to burn Shireen. What’s more, they blamed it all on George R.R. Martin. I have serious doubts as to whether Stannis will permit Shireen to be burned alive in the books, and until it happens, I will hold firm that the idea was all bullshit.

We did, however, get a very exciting scene at the gladiatorial games at Daznak’s Pit in Meereen. I was extremely pleased with how the scene was filmed, and was overjoyed that Drogon and Dany’s bond was expounded upon by showing that the dragon actually cared for his mother, and wasn’t simply there because he smelled the blood pooling in the sand.

This leads us to Episode 10, “Mother’s Mercy.” The last time I was as excited for an episode was right before Season 3’s “The Rains of Castamere,” the episode where the Red Wedding took place. There were leaked Snapchat photos of not only Cersei’s walk, but Selyse’s suicide, and Jon’s death…they all proved valid. And then there was the “accidental” leak of the “Previously on Game of Thrones” bit that hinted at Uncle Benjen’s return to Castle Black.

The episode played as a hurried and incomplete rush job with bits and pieces cobbled together for the purpose of sensationalism. Stannis decided to march on Winterfell despite having his army and resources depleted by a sellsword mutiny and then died by Brienne’s hand, who had previously just missed Sansa finally lighting the long awaited candle in the window of the broken tower. Myrcella died after being given an inappropriate, poison-tipped kiss on the mouth by a vengeful adult. If Jaime had been paying attention, he would not have allowed Ellaria within a hundred feet of his daughter-niece.

Cersei had her walk, and it was as grueling and horrible as it was in the books. Without a doubt, Lena Heady sold that scene like the consummate professional she is. But, we didn’t see Loras or Margaery, and only heard about Tommen. No snowflakes falling in King’s Landing, no white raven, and no surprise deaths at all in King’s Landing.

Arya was the other bright spot in an otherwise boringly bleak episode. She was finally able to cross Ser Meyrn Trant’s name off her list. We then were shown how the faceless men change their faces…no, I’m kidding, because I am now more confused than ever. Is it magic? Is it real human faces? Or is Jaqen H’ghar really Old Man Winters in disguise and if it weren’t for those darn kids he would have gotten it away with it too?

That leaves us with Jon Snow’s overly telegraphed and not-at-all cleverly written death. I just do not understand why the old “Uncle Benjen switcharoo” had to be used to carry out Jon’s big For the Watch scene. They had Wun Wun at Castle Black, who is the reason Jon was distracted by his attackers and unable to successfully defend himself. Instead, we had the obvious plot device, Olly, carrying out some elaborate prank in order to lure Jon to a poorly written sign. And that’s how they decided to kill Jon Snow.

Jon Snow wasn’t stabbed amid the bloody chaos of Wun Wun ripping a man in half, but quietly, shivved by the teary-eyed walking trope that is Olly. Now our watch truly begins to see if all this noise about Kit not returning for Season 6 is actually true. All I know is that if Jon is really gone for good and never coming back in any shape, form, or fashion, then the events at Hardhome mean absolutely nothing, and the best episode of the season was just one gigantic distraction.

I will close with this: I love the show, and it has certainly earned enough credit with me to have a bad season. I can understand if David Benioff and Dan Weiss are tired and worn out by the grueling schedule of bringing the most popular television series in the history of the world to HBO. So, I can forget this season ever happened, much like I did with The Wire Season 2, Season 2 of The Walking Dead, or the final season of Lost. But I sincerely hope D&D take a long hard look at Game of Thrones Season 5, and learn from their mistakes. I have hopes for Season 6…because that’s who I am, the ever hopeful romantic. I must believe things will get better.

Hi, my name is Razor, and I’m a hopeful Book Purist…who loves the show.

• Published on 06/19/2015 at 4:24 PM CDT
• Last updated on 06/20/2015 at 5:11 PM CDT