The WiC Scale: Winners and Losers for “The Gift”

It’s time for the WiC Scale, where we consider whether the characters who appeared in the latest episode are up, down, or just muddling through. This week’s episode featured most of our characters and locations—in the end, only Arya and the House of Black and White LLC were absent, so we’ve got lots to cover. Let’s dive in.

Up

• Littlefinger: He not only got the Lannisters to promise him the Wardenship of the North, but now the Tyrells owe him one too, while he gets the pleasure of climbing more chaos ladders as the two Great Houses fight a proxy war via religious extremists.
• Ser Alliser Thorne: Thorne got to look authoritative as the interim Lord Commander, plus he got command of the Wall back, despite losing the election. While Sam and Jon lose friends left and right, Thorne amasses his power base.
• Ramsay Bolton: Wife Escape Plan One foiled, plus he got new flayed decorations up around the courtyard from Blood, Bath, and Beyond.
• High Sparrow: Bishop takes Queen. Check.
• Tyrion: The Mouth of the South ran himself right into the Queen of Meereen, with a silent assist from not-Strong Belwas.
• Bronn: He got a nice new scar, a hot chick to strip for him, and he got to trip out on Dornish drugs and still kept his life. Not only is he up, but Simon Cowell is too, as he’s due royalties for the studio recording version of “The Dornishman’s Wife.”
• Tormund: Got his cuffs off, got saddled up and is heading out on a trip where he and Jon Snow will earn points for every night stayed with the Wyndham Rewards Wyzard.

Middling

• Sam and Gilly: They lost Maester Aemon, foiled a rape, and starred in the tenderest sex scene in the show’s five-year’s history. Let’s call it a wash.
• Jon: Saddled up for the unknown. His mission is noble, but we all know how the noblest of intentions are repayed in this world. Plus he’s traveling with this guy.
• Lady Olenna: She completely underestimated the High Sparrow, first assuming that he was a fraud and then that he could be bought. When that failed, she turned to players who are more her speed. She may not have gotten her grandchildren out, but at least she could make sure Cersei shared their fate.
• Dany: New husband Hizdahr is already exerting patriarchal control, but the good news is a new experienced Hand of the (Insert Title Here) has arrived with sorely needed advice.
• Jorah: He made like Little Bunny FooFoo and bopped every last opponent on the slave field on the head. Unfortunately, it does not look like Dany will be rewarding him for his troubles.
• Theon: For a moment, Sansa willed him back into being Theon of House Greyjoy. Alas, it didn’t last.
• Sand Snakes: They may be down in the dungeons, but the girls still know how to have fun. Now that Bronn owes them one, how do they plan to call in the favor?
• Myrcella: She may be a clueless pawn, but she’s a flouncy spoiled Disnified pawn. Also, that dress is way better than anything she ever wore in King’s Landing.

Down

• Margaery: She’s stuck in a cell and her best chance for a decent meal is now all over the floor. Such is life.
• Stannis: Stuck in the snow, with only his right hand man to berate him as his army goes AWOL, and his red witch lover to threaten the life of his only daughter. Welcome to the World of Stubborn Stannis.
• Jaime: Make no mistake, his outfit might be nicer and his view prettier, but Jaime is a prisoner just the same as Bronn, except instead of women stripping for him, he has his unacknowledged daughter giving him teen angst.
• Sansa: She got an eyefull of what Theon meant when he said it can always get worse, plus her husband’s terrible taste in decorating. Time to step up with Escape Plan Two.
• Brienne: She’s cold, she’s lonely, and she spends her days staring at a far-off window. It doesn’t even look she brought anything to read.
• Tommen: Whaddya mean I can’t pull a Joffrey and kill them all to get my hot and cold running sex back on tap? Life is SO unfair.
• Cersei:

Out

• Aemon: The first natural death on screen in five seasons. Aemon may be out, but he was one of the few to leave with dignity.

• Published on 05/28/2015 at 9:30 AM CDT
• Last updated on 10/21/2016 at 1:04 PM CDT